Words You Don't Want to Hear

My flair for drama points me to an eye catching title, but don't worry, it's not nearly as exciting as it sounds.

We can all think about words we don't want to hear. We think of the phone call that tells us something is wrong with someone we love or of a person hurting. I remember while David was deployed, I was walking through WalMart, just next to where all the bins of discount DVD's are sold, when my cell phone range. It was a Colorado number (where he was stationed out of at the time) and I answered the phone with a simple "Hello?". The other end of the line said, "Is this the wife of Sgt. Ely?". Moments felt like an infinite amount of time and the world fell away. For those few seconds, I forgot that the army would never just call to say something had happened to a soldier and I was convinced that I had unknowingly become a widow. I tuned back in to what the other end of the line was saying and it was a simple survey of the base housing we had stayed in. My legs kept shaking long after I hung up the phone. David was fine, but I was shaken.

I think words have a power to shake us far beyond what we give them credit for. Words take on their meaning based on so many other circumstances than just the words themselves. We bring our own perspectives, fears, biases, current mood and a lifetime of baggage. The words themselves seem so simple and yet how shaken we become when spoken out loud. I can think of tons of words I myself have said that seemed innocent in my mind - possibly even funny or interesting - and yet in the middle of a conversation have turned into a loaded cannon ready to level the person receiving them. The more I've learned how complicated words can be, the more I pray before speaking. Many who know me may laugh, but I am actually a lot quieter than I used to be. My mother-in-law introduced me to the power of silence and I am still learning the wisdom in that.

Do all words hold so much power? I was reading in Genesis this morning and saw such a powerful statement. "has God said?". Satan takes no time using his words to drive home to the doubting hearts of us all. Has God said? Three small words - a legacy of sin to follow. Jesus steps toe to toe with Satan and shows us the power of truth over lies and manipulation. In Matthew 4, when tempted in the desert, Jesus responds to Satan's attempt at deception with such conviction - "it is written". Three times Jesus responds with the truth of God's word and all that Satan can do is leave.

In Ephesians 6 we both gird our loins with truth and hold the sword of the Spirit "which is the word of God" for our defense against the spiritual battle before us. John tells us in his gospel, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." The Word of God - the ultimate truth - it was the power of salvation. So yes, words hold tremendous power.

What words do I not want to hear? Words that convict me of truth, driving those inner promptings of the Spirit head first into the light. No longer can they remain unspoken to be mulled about in our own safe mind, cast away when they trouble us too much or demand more than we want to give. Oh the power of words! Can I take back the words I uttered just this morning; "Lord make me more obedient to you."? Can I take back my prayers for spiritual maturity and choose to slowly drift into a state of being lukewarm in life? Absolutely not! God loves me too much to let that happen.

But words alone are not the only factor. If we each spoke and heard words without the filters of our own self doubt - what a glorious conversation that could be. As it was, each word fell onto a heart already struggling to not let my desire for obedience twist into a theology of heartless legalism that turns my heart from God. Already my heart is fighting with the lies whispering I am too far gone for God to bother to try to train me in His ways. Already I battle daily with the convictions of the Spirit and the overdramatization that makes this battle about me instead of God's glory.

Oh how I need my Savior! How I need to comfort from His word of truth - free from the flaming arrows of the enemy. The very truth I try to write on my heart and memorize is my only comfort in this place of self doubt.

"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with out weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

My spiritual mentor was just talking to me about the type of persecution we have in our country - it isn't the same as those Christians huddled in secret in a closed country. I type these words without any fear of persecution or retribution. Yet, all Christians experience the internal battle of dying to our self and finding new life in Him. This world and the Prince of Darkness do not want us to die to ourselves. Everything around me tells me to focus on my comfort, to become remade as the self-made man - rather than reborn as a child fully dependent on their Heavenly Father.

The more I ask for the strength to obey, the more temptation to be put in my path. The more I ask to grow, the harder those lies will be pushed my direction. "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" (Romans 7:24)

What hope we are given in His Word! "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." (Galatians 3:20)

No, there are no words more powerful than those. I do not need to stand in my own strength. I do not need to drum up perfect obedience through a checklist of what I can and cannot do. I do not stand alone in this fight against the evil one. I have been crucified with Christ! The death to self was done long ago on the cross and He has already had the final Word. He is making me new - He who loved me - He is the one I stand in and in His arms do I find not just strength to fight, but rest when weary.

What words will I never grow tired of hearing?
"'I will never desert you, nor forsake you', so that we confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?" and "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and tomorrow." (Hebrews 13:5b-6,8)

So I hold all words up to this standard - what is the Spirit saying? Words that pass that test need never bring fear or failure - just the beautiful truth of the One who loves to sing over me.