So I'll stop searching for the answers
I'll stop praying for an escape
I'll trust You God with where I am
And believe You'll have Your way
Just have Your way
Just have Your way
- Brit Nicole
Not a lot of scripture for this post or even complete sentences in this post. Somehow I feel like God just met me in the past two days and said "are you listening to yourself?" God's placed me around some people who are in very difficult situations and given me the ability to speak into their lives. Sometimes they listen and sometimes they don't, but I've always felt His Spirit in the words. And now, He says - are you listening?
How do you switch to autopilot without even looking? How do you get distracted from your path without realizing you have even taken a sideways step? Where do all of those things that deplete our energy from His purposes come from?
Just blink - I take my eyes off Him for a second. Then another. Then another. Start sleep walking through my spiritual life and when my eyes open up again, I find myself in a whole different direction or sometimes just sitting beside the road. Once my eyes are off Him, I easily find bright and shiny objects to distract me. I easily find other things to think and feel. Places that, even when they feel awful, feel more gratifying than God because those feelings make me the victim. Those feelings say "You're doing you're best - what more could people want?" or "Look how much you do - isn't that enough" or "No on knows how hard this is for you - if they knew, they wouldn't see you this way."
It's like I have these whispers surrounding me like vapors or ghosts. They cuddle up to my overemotional and narcissistic ego, making excuses for what I do and how I feel. Yet, when speaking to others I am able to speak God's truth and be confident in His character. How gracious and patient our God is! He is willing to allow me to serve Him and will still use me even when I am intentionally pulling away. I don't want to be told "this is an area to grow in"....no I want to be told "you have a right to feel this way - no one can blame you for reacting like that/thinking those things." I want to be left in the mud and mire, rather than being rescued.
Well, no more mud and mire for me! Instead, let me sing of His glory!
Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
A Faithful Steward
Two Sundays ago I listened to a wonderful sermon by our pastor on the baggage we carry (both material and emotional) that can burden us and keep us from being able to walk to path God has set before us, unencumbered by these earthly things that weigh us down. It came at a beautiful time - one of those times were God is revealing something to you and you begin to feel like He is holding a megaphone up to your ear and shouting "Do you get it yet?". Unfortunately, most days I have to answer, no, I don't get it yet Lord, please be patient with me. However, after my book that I am journaling through, my study of 1 Peter with my husband, my quiet time in the gospel, my efforts to memorize Hebrews and a pretty deep conversation at a very unexpected time - this sermon was that last piece that dropped me to me knees so that I could honestly say, "Yes Lord, I hear you now.".
Rob Eyman mentioned the open hands of a steward faithfully serving God with He has given us, for His glory, instead of the tightfisted nature we so often bring to "our" stuff. Be it emotional or material, we have those things that we count as "ours" and are off limits to the Lord. Those areas we say, "Nope, not yet. I'm not ready to die to self in this area right now."
The dictionary defines steward in the following way: "a person who manages anothers property or financial affairs; one who administers anything as the agent of another or others."
Jesus gives us a very clear picture of stewardship in his parable recorded in both Matt 25:14-30 and Luke 19:11-27. Both accounts have a man entrusting his servants with money while he is away on a trip and returning to see the results of their labors. Both accounts has the man (or king, in the Luke account) greet his servants that faithfully oversaw their responsibility with these words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities."
Paul speaks to this issue in Philippians 3:7-8 "But whatever things were gain those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ"
Let's compare this picture to the beautiful, scary portrayal of our view on things outside of God's will. Picture the book (or movie) Return of the King, where Lord Denathor is sitting at the base of the throne in the stewards chair. He is steward, as his father's before him, managing the kingdom of Gondor until the line of the king is restored and the king returns to his throne. This has not happened for several generations and Denathor is not about to give up the steward spot. In light of all I had been reading and thinking about, this scene struck me in a new way. Lord Denathor was perfectly content with being a steward and sitting on his lower throne, as long as there was no king threatening to displace him. While appearing to be content in his role as steward, he had actually pushed back the idea of the king, making his stewards chair a throne. The parables from the gospel and Paul's words all look at the heart of one who not only is aware of the responsibility of being a steward but also the right relationship with those things we are put in charge of.
Lord Denathor was not the wicked servant of the Scriptures, digging a hole in the ground and hiding the money. He diligently ran the kingdom - isn't that what he was appointed to do? Yes and no. While being a steward, from our definition above, is management of some affair, administering it as the agent of another. This means that the whole time we are responsible for this calling, we are also responsible for running it as the agent of another, not based on our own will, but following the will of the one who actually owns it. Ephesians 2:10 say, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. "
And we are also called to give it back - to be ready to open our hands and show what we have done, giving it back to it's rightful owner. The author of Hebrews says in chapter 12: 28-29 "Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire." And in Revelation we get a glimpse of heaven, where the 24 elders remove their crowns and cast them before the throne of God saying, "Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed and were created." (Rev 4:11)
To be a faithful steward is more than working with the gifts God has given me. It is to use these gifts for His will - not my own. And to hold them continually in an open hand, offering them back continually to God as a offering of praise to the only One who is worthy. Lately I have been working very hard in what I consider to be kingdom work - but God wants more than the sweat of my brow - He wants my heart fully submissive to His will and humbly offering back that which He has entrusted to me. It is His, gifted to me, to work His purposes, through the strength of Christ, for His glory. In light of who Christ is, how can I not, like Paul, count everything else as loss?
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.
Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.
See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
Rob Eyman mentioned the open hands of a steward faithfully serving God with He has given us, for His glory, instead of the tightfisted nature we so often bring to "our" stuff. Be it emotional or material, we have those things that we count as "ours" and are off limits to the Lord. Those areas we say, "Nope, not yet. I'm not ready to die to self in this area right now."
The dictionary defines steward in the following way: "a person who manages anothers property or financial affairs; one who administers anything as the agent of another or others."
Jesus gives us a very clear picture of stewardship in his parable recorded in both Matt 25:14-30 and Luke 19:11-27. Both accounts have a man entrusting his servants with money while he is away on a trip and returning to see the results of their labors. Both accounts has the man (or king, in the Luke account) greet his servants that faithfully oversaw their responsibility with these words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities."
Paul speaks to this issue in Philippians 3:7-8 "But whatever things were gain those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ"
Let's compare this picture to the beautiful, scary portrayal of our view on things outside of God's will. Picture the book (or movie) Return of the King, where Lord Denathor is sitting at the base of the throne in the stewards chair. He is steward, as his father's before him, managing the kingdom of Gondor until the line of the king is restored and the king returns to his throne. This has not happened for several generations and Denathor is not about to give up the steward spot. In light of all I had been reading and thinking about, this scene struck me in a new way. Lord Denathor was perfectly content with being a steward and sitting on his lower throne, as long as there was no king threatening to displace him. While appearing to be content in his role as steward, he had actually pushed back the idea of the king, making his stewards chair a throne. The parables from the gospel and Paul's words all look at the heart of one who not only is aware of the responsibility of being a steward but also the right relationship with those things we are put in charge of.
Lord Denathor was not the wicked servant of the Scriptures, digging a hole in the ground and hiding the money. He diligently ran the kingdom - isn't that what he was appointed to do? Yes and no. While being a steward, from our definition above, is management of some affair, administering it as the agent of another. This means that the whole time we are responsible for this calling, we are also responsible for running it as the agent of another, not based on our own will, but following the will of the one who actually owns it. Ephesians 2:10 say, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. "
And we are also called to give it back - to be ready to open our hands and show what we have done, giving it back to it's rightful owner. The author of Hebrews says in chapter 12: 28-29 "Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire." And in Revelation we get a glimpse of heaven, where the 24 elders remove their crowns and cast them before the throne of God saying, "Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed and were created." (Rev 4:11)
To be a faithful steward is more than working with the gifts God has given me. It is to use these gifts for His will - not my own. And to hold them continually in an open hand, offering them back continually to God as a offering of praise to the only One who is worthy. Lately I have been working very hard in what I consider to be kingdom work - but God wants more than the sweat of my brow - He wants my heart fully submissive to His will and humbly offering back that which He has entrusted to me. It is His, gifted to me, to work His purposes, through the strength of Christ, for His glory. In light of who Christ is, how can I not, like Paul, count everything else as loss?
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.
Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.
See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Words You Don't Want to Hear
My flair for drama points me to an eye catching title, but don't worry, it's not nearly as exciting as it sounds.
We can all think about words we don't want to hear. We think of the phone call that tells us something is wrong with someone we love or of a person hurting. I remember while David was deployed, I was walking through WalMart, just next to where all the bins of discount DVD's are sold, when my cell phone range. It was a Colorado number (where he was stationed out of at the time) and I answered the phone with a simple "Hello?". The other end of the line said, "Is this the wife of Sgt. Ely?". Moments felt like an infinite amount of time and the world fell away. For those few seconds, I forgot that the army would never just call to say something had happened to a soldier and I was convinced that I had unknowingly become a widow. I tuned back in to what the other end of the line was saying and it was a simple survey of the base housing we had stayed in. My legs kept shaking long after I hung up the phone. David was fine, but I was shaken.
I think words have a power to shake us far beyond what we give them credit for. Words take on their meaning based on so many other circumstances than just the words themselves. We bring our own perspectives, fears, biases, current mood and a lifetime of baggage. The words themselves seem so simple and yet how shaken we become when spoken out loud. I can think of tons of words I myself have said that seemed innocent in my mind - possibly even funny or interesting - and yet in the middle of a conversation have turned into a loaded cannon ready to level the person receiving them. The more I've learned how complicated words can be, the more I pray before speaking. Many who know me may laugh, but I am actually a lot quieter than I used to be. My mother-in-law introduced me to the power of silence and I am still learning the wisdom in that.
Do all words hold so much power? I was reading in Genesis this morning and saw such a powerful statement. "has God said?". Satan takes no time using his words to drive home to the doubting hearts of us all. Has God said? Three small words - a legacy of sin to follow. Jesus steps toe to toe with Satan and shows us the power of truth over lies and manipulation. In Matthew 4, when tempted in the desert, Jesus responds to Satan's attempt at deception with such conviction - "it is written". Three times Jesus responds with the truth of God's word and all that Satan can do is leave.
In Ephesians 6 we both gird our loins with truth and hold the sword of the Spirit "which is the word of God" for our defense against the spiritual battle before us. John tells us in his gospel, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." The Word of God - the ultimate truth - it was the power of salvation. So yes, words hold tremendous power.
What words do I not want to hear? Words that convict me of truth, driving those inner promptings of the Spirit head first into the light. No longer can they remain unspoken to be mulled about in our own safe mind, cast away when they trouble us too much or demand more than we want to give. Oh the power of words! Can I take back the words I uttered just this morning; "Lord make me more obedient to you."? Can I take back my prayers for spiritual maturity and choose to slowly drift into a state of being lukewarm in life? Absolutely not! God loves me too much to let that happen.
But words alone are not the only factor. If we each spoke and heard words without the filters of our own self doubt - what a glorious conversation that could be. As it was, each word fell onto a heart already struggling to not let my desire for obedience twist into a theology of heartless legalism that turns my heart from God. Already my heart is fighting with the lies whispering I am too far gone for God to bother to try to train me in His ways. Already I battle daily with the convictions of the Spirit and the overdramatization that makes this battle about me instead of God's glory.
Oh how I need my Savior! How I need to comfort from His word of truth - free from the flaming arrows of the enemy. The very truth I try to write on my heart and memorize is my only comfort in this place of self doubt.
"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with out weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16
My spiritual mentor was just talking to me about the type of persecution we have in our country - it isn't the same as those Christians huddled in secret in a closed country. I type these words without any fear of persecution or retribution. Yet, all Christians experience the internal battle of dying to our self and finding new life in Him. This world and the Prince of Darkness do not want us to die to ourselves. Everything around me tells me to focus on my comfort, to become remade as the self-made man - rather than reborn as a child fully dependent on their Heavenly Father.
The more I ask for the strength to obey, the more temptation to be put in my path. The more I ask to grow, the harder those lies will be pushed my direction. "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" (Romans 7:24)
What hope we are given in His Word! "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." (Galatians 3:20)
No, there are no words more powerful than those. I do not need to stand in my own strength. I do not need to drum up perfect obedience through a checklist of what I can and cannot do. I do not stand alone in this fight against the evil one. I have been crucified with Christ! The death to self was done long ago on the cross and He has already had the final Word. He is making me new - He who loved me - He is the one I stand in and in His arms do I find not just strength to fight, but rest when weary.
What words will I never grow tired of hearing?
"'I will never desert you, nor forsake you', so that we confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?" and "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and tomorrow." (Hebrews 13:5b-6,8)
So I hold all words up to this standard - what is the Spirit saying? Words that pass that test need never bring fear or failure - just the beautiful truth of the One who loves to sing over me.
We can all think about words we don't want to hear. We think of the phone call that tells us something is wrong with someone we love or of a person hurting. I remember while David was deployed, I was walking through WalMart, just next to where all the bins of discount DVD's are sold, when my cell phone range. It was a Colorado number (where he was stationed out of at the time) and I answered the phone with a simple "Hello?". The other end of the line said, "Is this the wife of Sgt. Ely?". Moments felt like an infinite amount of time and the world fell away. For those few seconds, I forgot that the army would never just call to say something had happened to a soldier and I was convinced that I had unknowingly become a widow. I tuned back in to what the other end of the line was saying and it was a simple survey of the base housing we had stayed in. My legs kept shaking long after I hung up the phone. David was fine, but I was shaken.
I think words have a power to shake us far beyond what we give them credit for. Words take on their meaning based on so many other circumstances than just the words themselves. We bring our own perspectives, fears, biases, current mood and a lifetime of baggage. The words themselves seem so simple and yet how shaken we become when spoken out loud. I can think of tons of words I myself have said that seemed innocent in my mind - possibly even funny or interesting - and yet in the middle of a conversation have turned into a loaded cannon ready to level the person receiving them. The more I've learned how complicated words can be, the more I pray before speaking. Many who know me may laugh, but I am actually a lot quieter than I used to be. My mother-in-law introduced me to the power of silence and I am still learning the wisdom in that.
Do all words hold so much power? I was reading in Genesis this morning and saw such a powerful statement. "has God said?". Satan takes no time using his words to drive home to the doubting hearts of us all. Has God said? Three small words - a legacy of sin to follow. Jesus steps toe to toe with Satan and shows us the power of truth over lies and manipulation. In Matthew 4, when tempted in the desert, Jesus responds to Satan's attempt at deception with such conviction - "it is written". Three times Jesus responds with the truth of God's word and all that Satan can do is leave.
In Ephesians 6 we both gird our loins with truth and hold the sword of the Spirit "which is the word of God" for our defense against the spiritual battle before us. John tells us in his gospel, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." The Word of God - the ultimate truth - it was the power of salvation. So yes, words hold tremendous power.
What words do I not want to hear? Words that convict me of truth, driving those inner promptings of the Spirit head first into the light. No longer can they remain unspoken to be mulled about in our own safe mind, cast away when they trouble us too much or demand more than we want to give. Oh the power of words! Can I take back the words I uttered just this morning; "Lord make me more obedient to you."? Can I take back my prayers for spiritual maturity and choose to slowly drift into a state of being lukewarm in life? Absolutely not! God loves me too much to let that happen.
But words alone are not the only factor. If we each spoke and heard words without the filters of our own self doubt - what a glorious conversation that could be. As it was, each word fell onto a heart already struggling to not let my desire for obedience twist into a theology of heartless legalism that turns my heart from God. Already my heart is fighting with the lies whispering I am too far gone for God to bother to try to train me in His ways. Already I battle daily with the convictions of the Spirit and the overdramatization that makes this battle about me instead of God's glory.
Oh how I need my Savior! How I need to comfort from His word of truth - free from the flaming arrows of the enemy. The very truth I try to write on my heart and memorize is my only comfort in this place of self doubt.
"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with out weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16
My spiritual mentor was just talking to me about the type of persecution we have in our country - it isn't the same as those Christians huddled in secret in a closed country. I type these words without any fear of persecution or retribution. Yet, all Christians experience the internal battle of dying to our self and finding new life in Him. This world and the Prince of Darkness do not want us to die to ourselves. Everything around me tells me to focus on my comfort, to become remade as the self-made man - rather than reborn as a child fully dependent on their Heavenly Father.
The more I ask for the strength to obey, the more temptation to be put in my path. The more I ask to grow, the harder those lies will be pushed my direction. "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" (Romans 7:24)
What hope we are given in His Word! "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." (Galatians 3:20)
No, there are no words more powerful than those. I do not need to stand in my own strength. I do not need to drum up perfect obedience through a checklist of what I can and cannot do. I do not stand alone in this fight against the evil one. I have been crucified with Christ! The death to self was done long ago on the cross and He has already had the final Word. He is making me new - He who loved me - He is the one I stand in and in His arms do I find not just strength to fight, but rest when weary.
What words will I never grow tired of hearing?
"'I will never desert you, nor forsake you', so that we confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?" and "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and tomorrow." (Hebrews 13:5b-6,8)
So I hold all words up to this standard - what is the Spirit saying? Words that pass that test need never bring fear or failure - just the beautiful truth of the One who loves to sing over me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)