The Webster dictionary defines convicted as the following: "1 : to find or prove to be guilty 2 : to convince of error or sinfulness".
This past 48 hours, I have been convicted by the Holy Spirit, convinced of my error and sinfulness.
In John 16, Jesus describes the coming of the Holy Spirit and Christ says that the Holy Spirit "will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgement". But not only this, the Holy Spirit is also said to "guide you into all truth". The word conviction is used in association with the Holy Spirit in two key passages - Hebrews 11:1 "now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." and also in 1 Thesalonians 1:5 "for our gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction."
What is this conviction? It is God's great grace of sancitfying work that fulfills the wonderful promise of Philipians 1:6 "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." God uses the Holy Spirit to continually make us more like Christ and He does this is an amazing variety of ways.
So here is a list of my path from Saturday afternoon to Monday morning that brought me to the cross, crawling forward on my knees and crying out to my Savior.
1 - Saturday afternoon - going to a kids birthday party when I would much rather be somewhere else. The hostess didn't even recognize me, but there were two friends stranded in this awkward setting of watching a gaggle of screaming children with very little to do but sweat in the hot sun. David and I had hoped to drop the kids and grab lunch together - but instead, we abandoned our lunch plans and entered into the awkwardness and tried to support our friends and the kids at this party. I had to ask myself - how many times does my agenda stand in the way of service?
2 - Sunday morning - I listened to the wise words of an 18 year old girl, describing her lessons in patience and openess to the Lord changing her plans. I was struck by how many times in my life I needed those same lessons. How many times have I complained about God's timing? Or tried to convince Him that my way really had more merit and just possibly He should try my way for once, instead of faithfully guiding me to His? Nearly twice her age, but wrestling with the same simple concepts - that God is good - that His ways are perfect - and that His wisdom is beyond my understanding.
3 - Sunday morning - our pastor had a bit of an untraditional approach to his sermon and I almost tuned out. But I didn't. Instead of letting my mind wander, I listened and heard my need. I heard my tendancy to thinking that I have "arrived" because I lead in some settings. To think that I am no longer a follower - but I've graduated to leader status. Oh my - how can I forget His words? 1 Timothy says so clearly in chapter 1 starting in verse 5 "But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. For some men, straying from these things, have turned aside to fruitless discussion, wanting to be teachers of the Law, even though they do not understand either what they are saying or the matters about which they make confident assertions." or in 2 Timothy 2:15 "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurarely handling the word of truth." Who am I to think I could rest in my walk and just coast?
4- This morning - in my quiet time this morning I started with Psalm 67 which says "God be gracious to us and bless us and cause His face to shine on us". Let me stop here - because I always do - I love this as a benediction at the end of a service - I feel so loved by the Lord with the idea of His face shining on me. But if you read one more verse you find "That Your way may be known on the earth, Your salvation among all nations." Wow....the point of this warm, fuzzy feeling I get from verse 1 is not about me at all - it's all about Him. It's all for His glory. That He may be known. His love in me is not only for me - but for me to radiate to others. I finished my quiet time with a short passage from C.S. Lewis who writes about the love of friendship - "They can then say, as the blessed souls says in Dante 'Here comes one who will augment our loves.' For in this love 'to divide is not to take away'" This thought capped a two day revelation and brought the conviction of my soul.
The body of Christ is one of the greatest gifts we have as believers - to uplift, encourage, support, exhort. We are friends - brothers and sisters in Christ. Through God's love, with each person that enters our circle, we more fully exhibit the love of Christ. We have more opportunities to serve. We have more opportunities to be the hands and feet of Christ. We have more ability to lead and follow as we all follow Christ. And the only place to go is His word of truth. The Holy Spirit comes as a foretaste of our inheritance and He convicts us of truth - whether we are living it or not. Being called into relationship with those I do not currently name as friends is not an inconvenience, it is my mission field. It is my calling.
We are all leaders - we are all followers - we are all sinners saved by grace and there is no room for pride or boasting or self sufficiency. With Christ as my Savior and Lord, my hands are open to moving in His plan for His glory. There is no coasting - there is no slowing down - there is no backing out - there are just my empty hands, being filled by the hands that were nailed to a cross for me. For my life. For my love.
Paul Baloche wrote an amazing song that sums up my state:
"What can I do but thank you? What can I do but give my life to You, hallelujah, hallelujah. What can I do praise You? Everyday make everything I do a hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah."
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
A View from the Mountaintop
This morning, for the second day in a row, I woke up in Spain, from a house on a cliff, overlooking the city and beach below. I always thought about "mountain top" experiences from the context of being on God's holy hill. That His presence is what makes the experience so deep. I still believe that to be true, but I wonder if part of the mountain imagery in scripture is based on how different a perspective is from on high.
This mountain I am on has several characteristics that I think really play a part in how I need to view God. First - perspective is completely different. The scale changes, the relationships between location changes, everything seems smaller, more manageable, and the big picture is so much clearer. When we were walking around the city, distances seemed so much longer and each street seemed so isolated. From above, it's all small and unified as one city. Another change is the weather - this morning there is a fog hanging on top of the city, but here in the air is clear. No obstructions blocking our view. The fog may seem heavy and thick from the city looking up, but looking down, you can see that it is just whispy clouds, that will burn off with the rising sun. Finally, the approach - to get to the top is not easy. Most vehicles have a hard time with the climb and to climb the stone stairs up the side (as we did yesterday) caused even the most fit young men to stop and rest. No one could approach the top easily.
God's view is so different from ours. Isaiah 55:9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways highers than your ways and My thoughts, higher than your thoughts." While this should be a great comfort of ours, so many times we loook to our own wisdom instead. Psalm 65:5 promises "By awesome deeds in righteousness You will answer us, O God of our salvation. You who are the confidence of all the ends of the earth." The rest of the Psalm describes the Lord's provision for the whole earth and all that is in it. For a brief moment, I thought to myself, why are we so different? Why aren't we just waiting patiently on Him and His provision? Why indeed?
Back in the garden, we were designed to dwell with Him, in His presence, living under the safety and protection of His bountiful provision. But we needed to go our own way. Isaiah 53:6 says "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, everyone to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all." This verse alone shows God's amazing love and mercy. We are each a prodigal child, being welcomed back into the arms of our Father. But at what cost? Well, we need to read the previous verses to understand that:
"Surely He has born our griefs and carried our sorrows. Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisemen for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:4-5
There is so much more to our God that simple power or provision. He isn't a geanie in a lamp or Santa Claus, bringing us our desires. In fact, some of the greatest punishments are in the form of giving us over to our desires. (Pslam 81:12, Romans 1) And yet, He is so much greater than just the loving God who is merciful. Without the total picture, we miss Him for who He is and shrink Him in our minds. When we fail to be in awe of His entire character (or at least in the best way we are able) we lose out on the blessing of knowing Him for who He is. Sandi Patti had a song with the chorus "And Lord we praise you, because of who You are, not just for all the mighty things Your hand has done. Lord we worship You because of who You are. You're all the reason that I need to voice my praise, because of who You are."
To worship God soley on His character puts our perspective back where it needs to be. As we are focusing on Him alone, His beauty, His works, His provision - all that He has done for us, to us and through us, becomes evident. There is nothing wrong with praising God for His gifts, but the praise also should be there in times of want. Paul summarizes this so well in Philipians 4:11-13 "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am to be content: I know how to be abased and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." That is the voice of one who loves Christ for how He is! Oh, that I could honsetly say the same for me.
Mountaintop views offer so much and yet they can seem few and far between. One can't hop a jet to Spain just for some refreshment and another point of view everytime things get heavy. But - I am thankful for this time - and trust God to continue to show me His character and who He is - whether I'm in a valley or on a mountain - until I reside with Him on His holy hill.
Revalation 21:10-11a "And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God having the glory of God."
This mountain I am on has several characteristics that I think really play a part in how I need to view God. First - perspective is completely different. The scale changes, the relationships between location changes, everything seems smaller, more manageable, and the big picture is so much clearer. When we were walking around the city, distances seemed so much longer and each street seemed so isolated. From above, it's all small and unified as one city. Another change is the weather - this morning there is a fog hanging on top of the city, but here in the air is clear. No obstructions blocking our view. The fog may seem heavy and thick from the city looking up, but looking down, you can see that it is just whispy clouds, that will burn off with the rising sun. Finally, the approach - to get to the top is not easy. Most vehicles have a hard time with the climb and to climb the stone stairs up the side (as we did yesterday) caused even the most fit young men to stop and rest. No one could approach the top easily.
God's view is so different from ours. Isaiah 55:9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways highers than your ways and My thoughts, higher than your thoughts." While this should be a great comfort of ours, so many times we loook to our own wisdom instead. Psalm 65:5 promises "By awesome deeds in righteousness You will answer us, O God of our salvation. You who are the confidence of all the ends of the earth." The rest of the Psalm describes the Lord's provision for the whole earth and all that is in it. For a brief moment, I thought to myself, why are we so different? Why aren't we just waiting patiently on Him and His provision? Why indeed?
Back in the garden, we were designed to dwell with Him, in His presence, living under the safety and protection of His bountiful provision. But we needed to go our own way. Isaiah 53:6 says "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, everyone to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all." This verse alone shows God's amazing love and mercy. We are each a prodigal child, being welcomed back into the arms of our Father. But at what cost? Well, we need to read the previous verses to understand that:
"Surely He has born our griefs and carried our sorrows. Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisemen for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:4-5
There is so much more to our God that simple power or provision. He isn't a geanie in a lamp or Santa Claus, bringing us our desires. In fact, some of the greatest punishments are in the form of giving us over to our desires. (Pslam 81:12, Romans 1) And yet, He is so much greater than just the loving God who is merciful. Without the total picture, we miss Him for who He is and shrink Him in our minds. When we fail to be in awe of His entire character (or at least in the best way we are able) we lose out on the blessing of knowing Him for who He is. Sandi Patti had a song with the chorus "And Lord we praise you, because of who You are, not just for all the mighty things Your hand has done. Lord we worship You because of who You are. You're all the reason that I need to voice my praise, because of who You are."
To worship God soley on His character puts our perspective back where it needs to be. As we are focusing on Him alone, His beauty, His works, His provision - all that He has done for us, to us and through us, becomes evident. There is nothing wrong with praising God for His gifts, but the praise also should be there in times of want. Paul summarizes this so well in Philipians 4:11-13 "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am to be content: I know how to be abased and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." That is the voice of one who loves Christ for how He is! Oh, that I could honsetly say the same for me.
Mountaintop views offer so much and yet they can seem few and far between. One can't hop a jet to Spain just for some refreshment and another point of view everytime things get heavy. But - I am thankful for this time - and trust God to continue to show me His character and who He is - whether I'm in a valley or on a mountain - until I reside with Him on His holy hill.
Revalation 21:10-11a "And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God having the glory of God."
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