I've been feeling for some time like it had been too long since I had last posted something to this blog and was starting to feel guilty about being so neglectful. Often times, my really deep quiet times lead my mind to ponder what the Lord is doing and I write a blog post with my musings. But as I have read His word, I haven't had some new revelation or great experience of gaining insight or wisdom. Instead, there has been a cry of my heart praising His faithfulness and provision and all I can say to the Word is, Amen.
In this time of just living day to day, without concern of the future, free from the anxiety and stress which plagued my thoughts for so long, I find myself reading His word with great comfort and contentment. Yes, He is the same, yesterday, today and forever.
I don't know the future, but my God holds it in His hand.
I don't have it all together, but my God is in control.
I can't fix all the areas of brokenness and pain around me, but my God will bring beauty from ashes.
I am not walking His path for me perfectly, but my God is faithful and will not let go of my hand.
After years of walking in the desert, I can say that I am truly experiencing His peace and joy in a way I wasn't sure still existed. When David brought the ark back into Jerusalem, he offered a prayer of thanksgiving which says "Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; He also is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the people are idols, but the Lord made the heavens." (1 Chronicles 16:25-26) It ends, "Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Then all the people said "Amen." and praise the Lord." (vs 36) This refrain is echoed in Psalm 106:48, when the Psalmist recounts the faithfulness of God towards Israel, despite their sin and wandering hearts.
There is a type of worship that comes from thanksgiving that is unlike any other. While there is a time to offer sacrificial praise and God is close to the brokenhearted, there is a joy in worship found when you can approach Him unfettered by the worries of this world. And it doesn't mean that there aren't worries in this world - but rather the worries of this world pale in comparison to the faithfulness of our Lord, that we can worship unencumbered by the trials of life. It is in this place that the only word left to say is Amen.
Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego have a moment like this right before they are throne into the fire for failing to bow down to the golden image King Nebuchadnezzar makes. They say to the king, "If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." (Daniel 3:17-18) They speak to God's faithfulness, power, salvation, supremacy and sovereignty as an act of worship while facing their death. And they see the rest of the world as being full of idols made by the hands of men, paling to the power of their God.
It struck me anew as I review the gospel accounts of passion week that the chief priests tell Pilot, "we have no king but Caesar" (John 19:15). In front of the King of kings and Lord of lords, the chief priests and teachers of the law hold up a foreign ruler as their king. Much like the days of Samuel, when God tells him "Listen to the voice of the people in regard to all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me from being king over them. Like all the deeds which they have done since the day that I brought them up from Egypt, even to this day - in that they have forsaken Me and served other gods - so they are doing to you also. (1 Sam 8:7-8)
Our idolatry may be golden images, people we have placed higher than the Lord, our own status, power, control or many other ways of choosing to reject God. It was the same in the garden when Adam and Eve chose their will over the Lord. We so quickly follow our own will and desires - and yet, when we truly meditate on the blessings He has given us, the faithfulness He has shown towards us and the vastness of His love, we can identify our idols and worship the true King instead. As we make Him greater, we (and everything else in our lives) becomes less.
My prayers are not about change, supplication for my list of needs or even musings of what I think He is doing. It is simply receiving His word as the ultimate truth - His gift to us and the testimony of who He is and what He has done. In light of this, I simply say, Amen.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
His Legacy
Our lives are building a legacy of God's faithfulness.....
In the ongoing saga entitled "It's not about you, Susan", I continue to be amazed by simple truths I have passed over time and time again. In the If:Equip devotional, we are reading through Hebrews, one of my all time favorite books of the bible. I have prayered through it, memorized parts of it, taught it in women's studies and Sunday schools and poured over books and sermons that focus on those sweet truths. And yet, in the fuzziness of my brain (currently suffering from bronchitis and sinusitis) it hit me afresh - our story is about Gods faithfulness to us, not our faith in God. Hebrews 11 paints a beautiful picture of faith that summarizes the great deeds and wonders of the Old Testament. Like Proverbs 31, it can feel weighty - like if I was a better Christian my faith could be added amongst the greats listed here. I could be a person who is remembered by leaving a legacy of faith. Have you seen the problem yet? It is somehow still about me.
David didn't ask to be King. Moses didn't ask for a stage. Abraham didn't even ask for a son. Now, I don't know if Abram never prayed for a son. It wouldn't have been wrong if he did. But when God shows up in Genesis 12, He gives Abram a promise for greatness that comes through a path of obedience. And in Hebrews 12 we are told to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith. We are called to "consider Him .... So that you will not grow weary and lose heart." In the edifying commands later in the chapter we are told to "see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God.".
The challenge is clear - our challenge is to be singularly focused on the Lord, His example, His grace. We are told that He is the author of our faith. We don't drum it up in ourselves. Once again, I get caught up in resume mode and ask myself "would I have stepped in the fiery furnace" or "would I have crossed the Jordan". That's the wrong question. I'm still looking to compare and contrast my ability with those the Lord has used in different ways for His kingdom when my question should be, "where are You leading me".
I don't need to be worried about my resume or legacy of faith. I don't need the faith to call fire from heaven. I need to pray with integrity to hear His voice and follow His call on my life. And I won't do it perfectly - which is why I need to pray for His strength and the ability to keep my eyes fixed on Him.
This totally aligns with something Tim Keller discusses in his book Prayer. Keller talks about how we need to pray so that we can rightly see ourselves - not through our lense, but through Gods eyes. Prayer allows us to hear God say what is true about us, rather than letting us form that view based on what we see and feel and understand. Our limited view will always be based on how we feel (not great), our comparison with others (which is limited and always skewed against us) and our circumstances (just a grain of sand in the grand design God has). When, through prayer, I hear the truth God wants to speak over me, then I have the ability to boldly walk His chosen path - free from comparison, free from doubt and free from fear. I can rely on His strength and His timing. It becomes a legacy of how He is faithful, rather than the story of a flawed woman trying to clamor for approval.
His holy word is truth and encouragement and profitable for teaching us about Him. But the story of God's grand design is still being written. We are already a part of it. His kingdom is coming and we are the stones that are building the eternal temple. We don't need to audition for a part. We don't have to brush up our resume. He isn't checking our Sunday school transcripts. We have lovingly and purposefully been chosen by Our Lord and Savior - Creator and King - to be in His kingdom, His church, His people, His story.
Amazing love! Amazing grace!
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Preparing the Way
It is so interesting that this journey is taking place during Lent - our time for rediscovering what it is that Christ has done for us - while we prepare our hearts, we are really focused on the Lord preparing a way for us. He says in the gospel of John "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me so you can be where I am." (John 14:3) Now seated next to the Father, we look to what He has done for us in preparing our lives and so we offer them back to Him.
We read time and time again how the Lord has gone before us and we, by faith, follow His leading. The Lord prepares good works for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). The Lord directs our steps (Prov 16:9). The Lord supplies all of our needs (Phil 4:19). Only, too often our eyes are caught up in what we see before us and human wisdom and the limits of our own understanding. It is hard to hear the voice of the Lord and truly discern His will.
I used to think that discerning the will of God was some test that I was pretty much guaranteed to fail and that grace was the Lord bridging the gap between my ineptitude and His desires for my life. This version of life puts God in a secretive, tricky position, as if He was withholding from me.In truth, He is our Father and delights to give us good gifts. I just couldn't reconcile the truth about God's character and the difficulty I had knowing His call on my life. Today, in near miraculous form, I got a glimpse of just how the Lord gently guides us into the position He has for His will and calls us to the road we should walk.
For close to a year David and I knew major changes for our lives were in order. The focus began with my job, and then we started to evaluate our home. And then we revisited what we wanted from our marriage. Personally, we each felt the Lord calling us to know Him in deeper and more vulnerable ways. We heard Him asking to live in dependence of Him and trusting Him for what we could not provide. But we had yet to discover what that would look like.
Simultaneously, we continued to walk the challenging road of having a son struggle emotionally in ways that left us feeling undone, unprepared and inadequate in every way. In this helpless state, we continued to pursue assistance and counsel and support. Today, one of those links brought forth a plan for addressing some of our son's needs - and yet it was so much more. She spoke, cautiously at first, of a new life order - a shift of our spiritual energy that puts this faith to work. She spoke of a home that lived out the grace and peace of God in tangible, visual and worship filled ways. She called us to a life that truly centered around the Lord in every way. She was nervous that this sounded too radical and wouldn't meet our expectations for the help we wanted for our son.
Our silence was not displeasure, but of true awe at hearing the Lord speak so plainly to us through her counsel. David and I sat side by side listening to her present an action plan for the longing of our hearts. Our months of searching for the road that God was calling us to was now illuminated before us and we were being invited to step forward on the path. Conversations that we had spoken in hushed tones months earlier now had substance and voice - a direction and a plan.
We weren't ready six months ago, or even six weeks ago. But God, our Creator, the One who authored time - He orchestrated each step and each prompting of our hearts. He let our longing go unsatisfied for a season, so that He could fill us in His time. He removed the chains, one link at a time, freeing us from our burdens so that we could follow in His ways. He wasn't playing hide-and-seek or sending us on a scavenger hunt. He wasn't taunting us with the possible, but then setting it just outside our reach. He was preparing the way. As He always has.
I wonder if I had known today would be that day - would I have still be so open in our discussion, or would I have thought I already had the answers? Would I have planned out my steps in my strength, instead of aching for His? The many ways I try to run ahead of God - would they have broken free and run past the joy of discovering just how gracious He wants to be with us?
The Lord prepares a way for us - by His death, He brings us new life and that life is not one of guilt and frustration. Had He told me what He was doing, I would have wanted to take back a piece and have something in my control. I would want to put my spin on it. I would want to take pride in the works of my hands. But instead - He kept it a surprise. Instead - it was simply a gift. It was grace.
O Lord, you do all things well. My greatest folly is putting the limits of my understanding on the lavish nature of Your love. I join Job in saying "“I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.3 ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”4 ‘Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.’ (Job 42:2-4)
We read time and time again how the Lord has gone before us and we, by faith, follow His leading. The Lord prepares good works for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). The Lord directs our steps (Prov 16:9). The Lord supplies all of our needs (Phil 4:19). Only, too often our eyes are caught up in what we see before us and human wisdom and the limits of our own understanding. It is hard to hear the voice of the Lord and truly discern His will.
I used to think that discerning the will of God was some test that I was pretty much guaranteed to fail and that grace was the Lord bridging the gap between my ineptitude and His desires for my life. This version of life puts God in a secretive, tricky position, as if He was withholding from me.In truth, He is our Father and delights to give us good gifts. I just couldn't reconcile the truth about God's character and the difficulty I had knowing His call on my life. Today, in near miraculous form, I got a glimpse of just how the Lord gently guides us into the position He has for His will and calls us to the road we should walk.
For close to a year David and I knew major changes for our lives were in order. The focus began with my job, and then we started to evaluate our home. And then we revisited what we wanted from our marriage. Personally, we each felt the Lord calling us to know Him in deeper and more vulnerable ways. We heard Him asking to live in dependence of Him and trusting Him for what we could not provide. But we had yet to discover what that would look like.
Simultaneously, we continued to walk the challenging road of having a son struggle emotionally in ways that left us feeling undone, unprepared and inadequate in every way. In this helpless state, we continued to pursue assistance and counsel and support. Today, one of those links brought forth a plan for addressing some of our son's needs - and yet it was so much more. She spoke, cautiously at first, of a new life order - a shift of our spiritual energy that puts this faith to work. She spoke of a home that lived out the grace and peace of God in tangible, visual and worship filled ways. She called us to a life that truly centered around the Lord in every way. She was nervous that this sounded too radical and wouldn't meet our expectations for the help we wanted for our son.
Our silence was not displeasure, but of true awe at hearing the Lord speak so plainly to us through her counsel. David and I sat side by side listening to her present an action plan for the longing of our hearts. Our months of searching for the road that God was calling us to was now illuminated before us and we were being invited to step forward on the path. Conversations that we had spoken in hushed tones months earlier now had substance and voice - a direction and a plan.
We weren't ready six months ago, or even six weeks ago. But God, our Creator, the One who authored time - He orchestrated each step and each prompting of our hearts. He let our longing go unsatisfied for a season, so that He could fill us in His time. He removed the chains, one link at a time, freeing us from our burdens so that we could follow in His ways. He wasn't playing hide-and-seek or sending us on a scavenger hunt. He wasn't taunting us with the possible, but then setting it just outside our reach. He was preparing the way. As He always has.
I wonder if I had known today would be that day - would I have still be so open in our discussion, or would I have thought I already had the answers? Would I have planned out my steps in my strength, instead of aching for His? The many ways I try to run ahead of God - would they have broken free and run past the joy of discovering just how gracious He wants to be with us?
The Lord prepares a way for us - by His death, He brings us new life and that life is not one of guilt and frustration. Had He told me what He was doing, I would have wanted to take back a piece and have something in my control. I would want to put my spin on it. I would want to take pride in the works of my hands. But instead - He kept it a surprise. Instead - it was simply a gift. It was grace.
O Lord, you do all things well. My greatest folly is putting the limits of my understanding on the lavish nature of Your love. I join Job in saying "“I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.3 ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”4 ‘Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.’ (Job 42:2-4)
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