A Heart Revealed

Psalm 119 is an amazing Psalm with certain themes repeating themselves over and over. One of the themes is the wonder of the law and our need for salvation. Verses 129 - 136 are the section titled "Pe". It begins "Your testimonies are wonderful; therefore my soul observes them." and it ends "My eyes shed streams of water because they do not keep Your law."

This is such wonderful clarity to the soul saved by grace. We want to do love the Lord and do all He has commanded us and yet we mourn our sin, knowing that we fall so short of His standard. God is making us into new creations, yet the old seems lurking just under the surface, ready to spring out and cause our feet to falter at any moment. I can think of no better example of our fallen condition than our own children. They start out babies, innocent and pure. Yet, as soon as they know what we want, they begin testing boundaries and the punishment phase begins. We use correction to teach right behavior - to try to train them to know the difference between right and wrong. Proverbs 22:15 says "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him." and in verse 6 "Train up a child n the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it." But scripture also teaches us that the goal for each of us is not a checkbox of rules, but a heart condition. Micah 6:8 says "He has shown you oh man what is good and what the Lord requires of you; but to do justice, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." True obedience stems from the heart, not the hand. Jesus says in the gospel of Matthew "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have heglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others." (Matt 23:23)

Selecting certain rules to follow with the up most of discipline is not the same as loving the Lord with all your heart and soul and mind. The one who love the Lord that way actually sees how fallen they are and how grateful they are for God's grace. The true experience of salvation is infinitely humbling and freeing all at the same time. I am perfectly saved and loved - so I am confident in my identity as a child of God and do not have to beat myself up over every little mistake and shortcoming in my life. I am perfectly saved and loved - so I know this is nothing I received on my own, but a gift and I cannot be proud and look down on others - we are all sinners pleading for mercy.

True salvation causes us to want to obey - we want to please the one who saved us and we know that we cannot save ourselves. I'm not trying to be good to earn my salvation - I try to be holy because God saved me.

My kids have really been pushing the limits in some areas and my husband and I found ourselves at a loss. Punishment wasn't seeming to help. These kids that could seem so great at times could also seem like they never heard a word we said. I was becoming more and more frustrated, drawing up new extreme punishments in my mind (like selling their Wii and giving away every TV in the house). But I didn't do that. For one, I knew it was extreme, but I also knew that my issue was not with Tv and video games. I wanted to see a heart in them that desired to obey. Am I any different before God? Do I not have areas of constant struggle, failing again and again and going back to God in confession? Do I not echo the Psalmist both stating my love for the law and crying tears lamenting my sin?

So my next step was not more severe punishment, but a long conversation with them about sin and forgiveness and grace. We discussed scripture together and talked about what our goals for them were, as children growing up in their own faith. I told them that this time, their sin had a consequence, but not for them. Their sin caused great sadness for David and I and for the Lord. And we talked about the price Jesus paid to bring salvation to us all.

For believers, we sin much like the Pharisees. We know all the major "Thou shall" and "Thou shall not", but our heart still rebels, revealing anger, pride, doubt and selfishness. I want my children to learn to have a heart that follows Jesus, not just a set of rules. And I'm still learning how to do that myself.

This blog is titled "I Need a Savior", because the more I learn about the Lord, the more I see how far I am from following His will. And the more I see the difference between my sin and His glory, the more beautiful the cross of Christ becomes. Amazing love, how can it be, that Thou, my God, would die for me!