Musings

I haven't been writing as much here lately because I have been focusing much of my time on my grandmother's Caringbridge blog. I don't mind writing the other blog at all, but I have some musings in my head that just feel like they need to get out.
Much of my thoughts have been circling around core lies and their impact. I find that somehow we have adopted lies that have such a great hold on our hearts and minds that we no longer hear them as lies, but rather as truth. For example, the other day I was driving around with my children and in a very odd turn of events, the boys decide they no longer want treats except on special occasions. This decision is quick and easy and seemingly firm, as they decide I don't need to buy them dessert for their lunches that week. My first reaction is amazement. Not because the 8 year old twins don't want treats, but because I have wrestled with my own self control issues involving treats my whole life and my boys make it seem so easy. I have a core lie that I wrestle with food. I've done all sorts of diets, read a wonderful book Made to Crave and spoken about this issue with doctors friends and counselors. I believe I have an issue with food. But this is a lie. Food is an inanimate object with no power. It can't talk to me, no matter how many times I've said "chocolate calls out my name" and it has no authority over my life. Core lie.
Another core lie can deal with your appearance, relationships, personal flaws and they give us excuses not to try. For example, if one of my core lies deals with my pride, it is now something out of my control. It becomes my identity. "I wrestle with pride." Now, I have an excuse for any time I am proud. "Well, no surprise there. I do wrestle with pride." I am no longer responsible for the sin but instead have characterized myself with something that is unchangeable till Christ returns.
We are fallen people in a fallen world. There are sins we will wrestle with until we die. But what does Paul say when he talks about his "thorn in his flesh"? He says that through this, he knows Christ is sufficient. He is strong in the Lord, not in himself. (2 Corinthians 12) The point is not to be perfect, but rather to trust in God's strength. He is the one who is perfecting us. Paul also talks about disciplining himself to continually strive to be like Christ. In 1 Corinthians 9, Paul states that he does all things for the glory of God. When Jesus intercedes for the prostitute, He sends the Pharisees away saying that he who is without sin should throw the first stone in John chapter 8. But then He also tells her "go and sin no more". He gives her freedom from condemnation, but also tells her not to sin. At the end of the chapter, He explains to the disciples that anyone who sins is a slave to sin, but He is the truth and once you have the Truth, you are free.
You may not feel like a slave to sin, but there is a place in all of us where we are slaves to our own experiences, a history of failures, rejections and feeling like we are less than what we should be. We hear lies so clearly they become truth and we excuse our behavior and attitudes, comfortable in our familiar sins. But if we hear His voice, if we hear His truth, we are able to move past what we were and truly be free.
My grandmother is sick, but should recover. People who speak to her have this sense that she has given up and that if she truly believes she is going to die, her life may end, even though medically it could have been healed. Is that any different than my lies about self image, pride, or past relationships? Is that any different than if the prostitute, being saved by Jesus, returned to her life of sin?
Jesus wants to be our strength in our weakness but He also wants us to be more like him. He loves us too much to leave us as we are. Are we too stubborn to be like Him?