7 times 7 - the hardship of holiness

Psalm 106:32-33 "They also provoked Him to wrath at the waters of Meribah, so that it went hard with Moses on their account; because they were rebellious against His Spirit, He spoke rashly with his lips."

This refers to one of the most difficult passages for me, because I still see the Christian walk as a works based-merit driven path. Honestly, I respond very well to affirmations that are tangible (a star on my chart, a certificate of appreciation, a gift of love, etc) and works are very tangible. I can do well on something and then see the fruit of my work. While I may speak of the glorious riches of grace, in my heart I constantly question "am I doing it right?" or "am I doing enough?". I look to the very end of scripture in Revelation where it says, "Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to render to every man according to what he has done." (Rev 22:12) and I think "see - what they have done - it is based on works." But we know that isn't true. Just a few verses down we see the beautiful invitation "The Spirit and the bride say, 'Come'. And let the one who hears say, 'Come'. And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes to take the water of life without cost." (Rev 22:17)

Obedience is step 2 - the response of a heart who has experienced the grace and love of their Lord and Savior. Step 1 is accepting the grace of God in faith. Step 1 receives the gift with open, empty hands. Step 1 is to come.

Coming to the Lord empty handed does not mean we put down our good works, but rather put down our pride. See, our pride is what fools us into thinking that our works are any good at all. Romans 8 says that we were in bondage to sin and that our flesh is hostile to God - incapable of following the law. Hebrews 11 also states that without faith it is impossible to please God. It is easy for us to think about God rejecting us for our sin, but much harder to imagine God rejecting what we think are our good works. And yet the first step in approaching God is the humility to see we have nothing to bring. We are empty vessels, asking to be filled with His grace.

So back to Moses - in Numbers 20, at the waters of Meribah, Israel is once again complaining that they should have stayed in wonderful Egypt where everything was great instead of being dragged out into the wilderness to die. As we have seen, this seems to be the only thing they think about as they wander and anyone could understand Moses getting a little fed up with them. God commands Moses and Aaron to "speak to the rock before their very eyes, that it may yield its water" (Numbers 20:8) Moses stands up and says "Listen now, you rebels; shall we bring forth water for you out of this rock?" and then he strikes the rock twice with Aaron's rod. Now way back in Exodus 17, the people got mad at Moses for bringing them out of Egypt to die without any water (sound familiar?) and so God commands Moses to stand on the rock at Horeb and strike it with his staff, so water comes from the rock for the people and their livestock. Moses had followed God's command before in bringing the water from the rock by striking it, so what changed?

Back in Numbers 20:12 God says to Moses and Aaron "Because you have not believed Me, to treat me as holy in the sight of the sons of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them." And that was that. The years of wandering the desert, the parting the Red Sea, the confrontations with Pharaoh and every other act of obedience was now gone. The gift of the promise land was no longer theirs. Pretty harsh, right?

But this is the basic problem of sin. We are all sinful, but we don't really view our sin as a problem. We feel that the scales are balanced when our good deeds outweigh the bad. If you flip to Deuteronomy 34, when Moses dies, you find what I consider to be one of the most moving passages in all of Scripture. God tenderly takes Moses up to the top of a mountain to see the promises land, right before the people enter under Joshua's leadership. Moses dies there, 120 years old, a man still strong, despite the age and hard life. Scripture records "Since that time no prophet has risen in Israel like Mose, whom the Lord knew face to face, for all the signs and wonders which the Lord sent him to perform in the land of Egypt against Pharaoh, all his servants, and all his land, and for all the mighty power for all the great terror which Moses performed in the sight of all Israel." (Deut. 34:10-12)

Moses was used by God to do amazing things. Moses faithful obedience gave him an audience with God that no other man would ever understand. He saw the glory of God from the cliff in the mountain. He spoke to God face to face. He had intimate communication with the Holy Lord and lived. Yet, he was just a man. A sinful man, whose pride and anger got the best of him. In Meribah, he forgot his role of obeying the Lord, exactly as commanded, for the glory of God. Instead he calls the people rebels and strikes the rock.

All of us need the grace of God. All of us need the blood of Christ to forgive our sins. Moses made the tabernacle just as God commanded, but Jesus is the Temple. Moses led the people to the promise land, but Jesus has prepared our heavenly home. The people of Israel hardened their hearts again and again, dying by plague and by fire and falling in the wilderness. Jesus takes our hearts of stone and causes us to be born again of the Spirit.

This is the hardship of holiness - we are called to be holy as God is holy (Matt 5:48, Lev 11:44, 1 Peter 1:16). But we are not holy or righteous. We cannot stand before God on our own merit. We are called to approach the Lord empty handed and ask for His grace. He invites us to come.

I struggle with this story of Moses because it reveals too much of my own heart. While I know I am completely dependent on grace, I still want to believe that I bring something to the table. That God chose me because I had value on my own. But there is a greater gift to be received. To know that God chose me because He loved me - not because I deserve it. And if I can't earn it - then I can't lose it either. God isn't going to change His mind. He won't see an example of my sin and say "Oh, I didn't see how angry you can get - oops, my bad, you aren't really saved after all." He won't say "wow, that was your last chance to get it right. Sorry, but no more heaven for you." Instead He is patiently forgiving me, disciplining me and calling me back to the throne of grace - inviting me to confess my sin and then removing my sin as far as the east is from the west. Until I reach glory, I will fall, I will fail and I will wander. But praise be to God - He made a way for me to come to the table in Jesus Christ.

I still bring imperfect offerings of my attempts at obedience - but when I offer them with a humble heart, as a love offering and response of my gratitude for His salvation, He graciously accepts my gifts and encourages me in His love. Like when my daughter brings me a fistful of dandelions, I smile and hug her tightly and tell her they are beautiful and put them in a vase. They are not roses, but they are an offering of love.

God delights in our humbled and thankful hearts. He chose you because He loves you. Leave the scales behind - they will never balance in your favor.

Instead accept His invitation, "Come".