In the ongoing saga entitled "It's not about you, Susan", I continue to be amazed by simple truths I have passed over time and time again. In the If:Equip devotional, we are reading through Hebrews, one of my all time favorite books of the bible. I have prayered through it, memorized parts of it, taught it in women's studies and Sunday schools and poured over books and sermons that focus on those sweet truths. And yet, in the fuzziness of my brain (currently suffering from bronchitis and sinusitis) it hit me afresh - our story is about Gods faithfulness to us, not our faith in God. Hebrews 11 paints a beautiful picture of faith that summarizes the great deeds and wonders of the Old Testament. Like Proverbs 31, it can feel weighty - like if I was a better Christian my faith could be added amongst the greats listed here. I could be a person who is remembered by leaving a legacy of faith. Have you seen the problem yet? It is somehow still about me.
David didn't ask to be King. Moses didn't ask for a stage. Abraham didn't even ask for a son. Now, I don't know if Abram never prayed for a son. It wouldn't have been wrong if he did. But when God shows up in Genesis 12, He gives Abram a promise for greatness that comes through a path of obedience. And in Hebrews 12 we are told to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith. We are called to "consider Him .... So that you will not grow weary and lose heart." In the edifying commands later in the chapter we are told to "see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God.".
The challenge is clear - our challenge is to be singularly focused on the Lord, His example, His grace. We are told that He is the author of our faith. We don't drum it up in ourselves. Once again, I get caught up in resume mode and ask myself "would I have stepped in the fiery furnace" or "would I have crossed the Jordan". That's the wrong question. I'm still looking to compare and contrast my ability with those the Lord has used in different ways for His kingdom when my question should be, "where are You leading me".
I don't need to be worried about my resume or legacy of faith. I don't need the faith to call fire from heaven. I need to pray with integrity to hear His voice and follow His call on my life. And I won't do it perfectly - which is why I need to pray for His strength and the ability to keep my eyes fixed on Him.
This totally aligns with something Tim Keller discusses in his book Prayer. Keller talks about how we need to pray so that we can rightly see ourselves - not through our lense, but through Gods eyes. Prayer allows us to hear God say what is true about us, rather than letting us form that view based on what we see and feel and understand. Our limited view will always be based on how we feel (not great), our comparison with others (which is limited and always skewed against us) and our circumstances (just a grain of sand in the grand design God has). When, through prayer, I hear the truth God wants to speak over me, then I have the ability to boldly walk His chosen path - free from comparison, free from doubt and free from fear. I can rely on His strength and His timing. It becomes a legacy of how He is faithful, rather than the story of a flawed woman trying to clamor for approval.
His holy word is truth and encouragement and profitable for teaching us about Him. But the story of God's grand design is still being written. We are already a part of it. His kingdom is coming and we are the stones that are building the eternal temple. We don't need to audition for a part. We don't have to brush up our resume. He isn't checking our Sunday school transcripts. We have lovingly and purposefully been chosen by Our Lord and Savior - Creator and King - to be in His kingdom, His church, His people, His story.
Amazing love! Amazing grace!
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