Preparing the Way

It is so interesting that this journey is taking place during Lent - our time for rediscovering what it is that Christ has done for us - while we prepare our hearts,  we are really focused on the Lord preparing a way for us. He says in the gospel of John "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me so you can be where I am." (John 14:3) Now seated next to the Father, we look to what He has done for us in preparing our lives and so we offer them back to Him.

We read time and time again how the Lord has gone before us and we, by faith, follow His leading. The Lord prepares good works for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). The Lord directs our steps (Prov 16:9). The Lord supplies all of our needs (Phil 4:19). Only, too often our eyes are caught up in what we see before us and human wisdom and the limits of our own understanding. It is hard to hear the voice of the Lord and truly discern His will.

I used to think that discerning the will of God was some test that I was pretty much guaranteed to fail and that grace was the Lord bridging the gap between my ineptitude and His desires for my life. This version of life puts God in a secretive, tricky position, as if He was withholding from me.In truth, He is our Father and delights to give us good gifts. I just couldn't reconcile the truth about God's character and the difficulty I had knowing His call on my life. Today, in near miraculous form, I got a glimpse of just how the Lord gently guides us into the position He has for His will and calls us to the road we should walk.

For close to a year David and I knew major changes for our lives were in order. The focus began with my job, and then we started to evaluate our home. And then we revisited what we wanted from our marriage. Personally, we each felt the Lord calling us to know Him in deeper and more vulnerable ways. We heard Him asking to live in dependence of Him and trusting Him for what we could not provide. But we had yet to discover what that would look like.

Simultaneously, we continued to walk the challenging road of having a son struggle emotionally in ways that left us feeling undone, unprepared and inadequate in every way. In this helpless state, we continued to pursue assistance and counsel and support. Today, one of those links brought forth a plan for addressing some of our son's needs - and yet it was so much more. She spoke, cautiously at first, of a new life order - a shift of our spiritual energy that puts this faith to work. She spoke of a home that lived out the grace and peace of God in tangible, visual and worship filled ways. She called us to a life that truly centered around the Lord in every way. She was nervous that this sounded too radical and wouldn't meet our expectations for the help we wanted for our son.

Our silence was not displeasure, but of true awe at hearing the Lord speak so plainly to us through her counsel. David and I sat side by side listening to her present an action plan for the longing of our hearts. Our months of searching for the road that God was calling us to was now illuminated before us and we were being invited to step forward on the path. Conversations that we had spoken in hushed tones months earlier now had substance and voice - a direction and a plan.

We weren't ready six months ago, or even six weeks ago. But God, our Creator, the One who authored time - He orchestrated each step and each prompting of our hearts. He let our longing go unsatisfied for a season, so that He could fill us in His time. He removed the chains, one link at a time, freeing us from our burdens so that we could follow in His ways. He wasn't playing hide-and-seek or sending us on a scavenger hunt. He wasn't taunting us with the possible, but then setting it just outside our reach. He was preparing the way. As He always has.

I wonder if I had known today would be that day - would I have still be so open in our discussion, or would I have thought I already had the answers? Would I have planned out my steps in my strength, instead of aching for His? The many ways I try to run ahead of God - would they have broken free and run past the joy of discovering just how gracious He wants to be with us?

The Lord prepares a way for us - by His death, He brings us new life and that life is not one of guilt and frustration. Had He told me what He was doing, I would have wanted to take back a piece and have something in my control. I would want to put my spin on it. I would want to take pride in the works of my hands. But instead - He kept it a surprise. Instead - it was simply a gift. It was grace.

O Lord, you do all things well. My greatest folly is putting the limits of my understanding on the lavish nature of Your love. I join Job in saying "“I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.3 ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”4 ‘Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.’ (Job 42:2-4)