Day 1 - Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.
For the next 49 days I will be exploring the 48 verses of Psalm 106, using the ESV version (http://www.esvbible.org/Psalm+106/). I read a Psalm each day in my quiet time and this past week I hit Psalm 106. It was in the middle of me adjusting to regular life after having been gone on vacation for 9 days straight. You'd think I'd be relaxed and reminiscent of how great the vacation was and thankful for the wonderful experience. You'd think I'd be recounting the blessing of God's provision to be able to afford a terrific cruise with my husband. You'd think I'd be expounding on the amazing relationship with our best friends who came with us and the wonderful memories we share with them. That would make sense.
But in fact, if you read my journal, you would see comments regarding the days immediately following my vacation as being "horrible", "exhausting", "so behind at work", "busy every night", "need another vacation". Then I read Psalm 106 and I was convicted immediately. This Psalm explores the loving-kindness of our great God and Israel's continual rejection and complaining attitude. Aren't we all like that sometimes? Don't we all turn to God and say, what have You done for me lately? Don't we all credit ourselves with the good and blame Him for everything that seems bad or doesn't make sense?
I felt an immediate need to repent and focus my heart on His amazing grace. I felt a call for a focused study of His love and intentional effort in thanksgiving and gratitude. So, in thanks of my 7 days cruise, I am spending 7 times 7 days (a biblical symbol for completion) studying this psalm to address my own heart that so quickly turns from the loving provision of my God and tries to live in my own strength or rejects His plan for my life to follow my own will instead.
We are called that give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. Before any mention of what He has done, we begin with His character. We praise God for WHO He is. There will be a time when Christ returns and the whole world will see Him and worship, regardless of their nation, language, religion, or ethnicity. They will see He is God and that there is no other. They will see He is holy and know their sin. They will see His majesty and understand their insignificance. They will understand His eternal nature and know their mortality. When we all see Jesus - every knee will bow. Just because of who He is. He will still judge and those outside His forgiveness will be banished for all eternity, separated from His glory. But we, who know now - even though it is only in part, we know His character as it is revealed in His word, through His creation and the innate understanding of our souls. We know He is God and we praise Him, because He is worthy of praise.
This idea really sets the tone for the next 48 days, because it is not thanking God for any particular gift, provision, miracle or blessing. We aren't praising God only because we remember His faithfulness to us (although that is important too). We begin praising Him and giving Him thanks just because of who He is. If we simply meditate for a moment on His power and glory and splendor, we cannot help but begin to sing praises.
On the cruise I looked out and saw the ocean, stretching out in this gorgeous color blue, as far as the eye could see. And then I saw the sky, a different shade of blue, nearly cloudless, stretching out to meet the sea. All I could think of was Genesis and the Lord creating the ocean and earth and sky. He spoke it all into being because it pleased Him to do so. This great expanse of blue - beyond a length or height I could measure or even imagine. And He spoke it into being. I began to sing Amazing Grace, just thinking "when we've been there, ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun. We've no less days to sing God's praise, than when we've first begun." It isn't hard to picture praising God for all of eternity, when you take a moment to look at His creation and realize how great He is. And then imagine seeing Him, instead of just looking at His creation, seeing Him - with our own eyes! We praise Him for who He is!
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Monday, March 25, 2013
Walking with a limp
"Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until day break. When he saw that he had not prevailed, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him. Then he said, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking." But he said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." So he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." He said "Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have wrestled with God and with men and have prevailed." Then Jacob asked him and said, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And he blessed him there. So Jacob named the place Peniel, for he said "I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been preserved." Now the sun rose upon him just as he crossed Peniel, and he was limping on his thigh." Genesis 32:24-31
This morning I was reading "Come, Lord Jesus" by Thomas a Kempis, a devotional that our church is using during Lent. Chapter 35, entitled "A Little Sweetness" addresses the quiet whisper of the world saying "You need a little sweetness to help you get through this tough life." It goes on to describe how we use little rewards in our life as comforts and pleasures, when in fact we are keeping ourselves from the depths of God's presence, "the utter sweetness that comes when you are abandoned to God".
I was knocked right between the eyes as I saw a core root of my sin and pride in black and white. If you know me personally, you know that my love language is "gifts" and that my experience and expression of love often best resonates with me when it is in the form of some gift or token or display of affection. I experience people's love for me best when they present me with some tangible item showing they were thinking of me and moved to give me something as an expression of their affection. It could be flowers or chocolates or socks - it really doesn't matter what the item is. Gifts say to me "I saw this, thought of you, and wanted you to have it." I express my love for others this way as well. It may be cooking my kids favorite meal, bringing my mom her favorite Starbucks coffee or buying my husband tickets to the cubs game. Gifts are my way of saying, "I know what you enjoy and I want to increase your pleasure by giving you this." (If you don't know much about the love languages idea, go to: http://www.5lovelanguages.com)
The problem is, this idea of "self-gifting". I am a HUGE self-gifter. I will celebrate myself and comfort myself in disappointment. Actually, I pretty much go through my life asking myself "how can I make this better?". If things have been difficult or stressful, I look to cheer myself up. If things are going well, I see if I can make them even better. My husband and I sit down to a relaxing evening watching a movie together and I say "I have an idea". I jump off the couch, run to the kitchen, whip up a treat and now we have a movie AND a treat. Or I've had a horrible day, so on my way home I console myself by picking up something - maybe a magazine or a movie for distraction, maybe a bottle of wine to share with David over dinner, maybe I get home and make cookies with the kids. Gary Chapman says that the person who thrives on gifts is being shown through gifts "that they are known, cared for and prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you." This self gifting is my deeply rooted pride, loving myself, caring for myself and prizing my own comfort.
In the person of Jesus, the sacrifice of His death on the cross said that we were "known and cared for and prized" beyond His own life. This is the gift we truly long for. This is the expression of love that I need to fill the emptiness of my heart. Everyone and everything in life around me will disappoint. My husband, my kids, my family and friends can never love me perfectly. This world cannot ever satisfy my longings, because I was made for heaven and the presence of God.
My "self-gifting" has been an invisible wall between me and a deeper relationship with the Lord. Whether celebrating the good or consoling the bad, my self gifting rejects the perfect gift God has given me in His presence. I am fostering a posture of self-reliance and discontent. I am saying to the Lord "I am not satisfied with what You have given me. I know better." And I am rejecting His plan for my life, measuring the distance between the expectation of my plan and the reality in which I live.
Thomas a Kempis was right on - this small voice is almost too quiet to hear, but it's presence is devastating to cultivating true awareness of God's presence, submission to His will and thankfulness for all He has done. These little gifts, meaningless distractions, continually turn my eyes from God and towards the fleeting treasures of this world.
About a year ago, I was diagnosed with depression and worked really hard to break my negative thought patterns. For this past year, I have been striving to experience God's presence and joy in my life. Despite some really great quiet times and conversations with others, I still felt like I kept hitting a wall in my experience of God. I knew I wasn't joyful. I knew I was wrestling with true submission to His will and with my pride. I just couldn't put my finger on the root of the problem. I tried to deal with the issues I saw in my life, but I couldn't identify the source. After reading this truth, I felt like the scales fell from my eyes and I could truly see the spiritual battle I was facing. I am no longer blind to my enemy, just reacting to his attack. Now, I am on guard and on the offensive - reaching out to destroy all that stands between me and the Lord.
When Jacob wrestled with God, he was blessed. He was made into a great nation and he was blessed with a limp. A permanent reminder to hold onto God and cling to Him. This revelation of my sin is like my own personal limp - a call to remember my frailty and His provision. A call to remember that I am fighting a battle and my own comfort and desires are counted among my enemies.
It is not wrong to make things fun or to enjoy gifts. The sin came from my proud heart, defining what was right for me and making my own adjustments to God's perfect provision. I was telling Him that He wasn't enough. His will wasn't good. I didn't trust Him to satisfy. I wanted to take care of myself. No wonder I felt empty of His presence - I've been turning Him away.
No more....no more settling with temporary trinkets at the cost of eternal glory. No more ungrateful heart to the life He has given me. No more turning my nose down at His gifts, looking for something shiny instead. No more ending each day with my little self-gifts to combat the tough world we live in, choosing small comfort instead of perfect peace.
Instead - I claim the gift of Jesus Christ as my full satisfaction - the perfect solution to this sin-sick world. I claim each day and each breath His good and perfect plan for me, thankful for what has been given. I claim my future to be the road to glory, not just a good-enough tomorrow. And I choose to see my temporary toil in light of the cross at Calvary. The external changes may seem small at first - intentionally closing each day in thanksgiving; stopping myself from those little comforts or rewards - so that I can find my comfort and reward in Him; celebrating Him, instead of me. But I will be running the race set before me with a limp - a limp of dependence. A limp that keeps me clinging and recognizes the blessing and joy from the presence of God.
What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear;
What a privilege to carry, everything to God in prayer.
O what peace we often forfeit, o what needless pain we bear;
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I
Psalm 61:2 has this great phrase "lead me to the rock that is higher than I". I read this yesterday in my quiet time and loved the imagery of looking up beyond myself, and climbing this peak where I come to the Lord. In my head I had my own personal Mt. Sinai. It was wonderful moment.
And then the day began and I went through my own personal hills and valleys of encouragement and frustration. I experienced being energized and exhausted - confident and questions. Life was more than the place in my head and by the end of the day it can feel more like I am trying to climb Mt Everest, than simply connect with the Lord.
And then a deeper frustration comes. I find myself wrestling in the same areas I have wrestled for years and the weariness is beyond the daily grind, but a question of whether or not I will ever truly overcome my own flaws and failings. Will I ever really push through this invisible brick wall that has held me back time and time again? The mountain I'm climbing seems to be growing, making my progress actually feel like I am moving backwards. I question if I should be climbing at all. Maybe it would be better to just sit down where I am. Sure, I'm not at the top but I wouldn't have to climb anymore. The weariness could be over. Accept the mountain for what it is and be thankful that when Christ returns, all these mountains will be made low. The crooked will be straight. The rough places plain. (Isaiah 40:4) Can't I just wait for the glory of the Lord?
But these are not the thoughts of one centered on the Lord. Isaiah 26 says "The steadfast mind will You keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock." Paul experienced frustrations. In 2 Corinthians 12 we have an amazing view into Paul's heart and mind as he implores the Lord to remove this "thorn in the flesh", this "messenger of Satan to torment him". God reveals to Paul that the strength found in weakness is stronger than Satan himself. Paul learns that God's great grace had so much more fulfillment than earthly strength.
In Psalm 62, David says "My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken."
My strength is not from myself or anyone else, but God alone. Resting in Him, I can never be shaken, which leads me to ask:
Am I wrestling my weakness or am I really wrestling my pride which doesn't like the idea of being weak?
Is the mountain really growing or is the distance I feel between myself and the Lord the result of my unwillingness to ask Him to come to me?
Could my valleys rise and my hills be brought low, a straight path to the Lord, if I ask Him? Will the One who descended from heaven, into the depths of hell and conquered sin and death for my sake really abandon me in my time of weakness? (Rom 8:37-39) Will the One who "allowed Himself to be tempted in that which He suffered to come to the aid of those who are tempted" reject me in my frailty? (Heb 2:18)
Is the thorn in my flesh not actually something pressing in on the surface, but the very heart inside of me refusing to die to it's selfish pride and ambition?
I rest on the side of the mountain, but not to stop. Rather, I cry out to the Lord, "Carry me, Father. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
And then the day began and I went through my own personal hills and valleys of encouragement and frustration. I experienced being energized and exhausted - confident and questions. Life was more than the place in my head and by the end of the day it can feel more like I am trying to climb Mt Everest, than simply connect with the Lord.
And then a deeper frustration comes. I find myself wrestling in the same areas I have wrestled for years and the weariness is beyond the daily grind, but a question of whether or not I will ever truly overcome my own flaws and failings. Will I ever really push through this invisible brick wall that has held me back time and time again? The mountain I'm climbing seems to be growing, making my progress actually feel like I am moving backwards. I question if I should be climbing at all. Maybe it would be better to just sit down where I am. Sure, I'm not at the top but I wouldn't have to climb anymore. The weariness could be over. Accept the mountain for what it is and be thankful that when Christ returns, all these mountains will be made low. The crooked will be straight. The rough places plain. (Isaiah 40:4) Can't I just wait for the glory of the Lord?
But these are not the thoughts of one centered on the Lord. Isaiah 26 says "The steadfast mind will You keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock." Paul experienced frustrations. In 2 Corinthians 12 we have an amazing view into Paul's heart and mind as he implores the Lord to remove this "thorn in the flesh", this "messenger of Satan to torment him". God reveals to Paul that the strength found in weakness is stronger than Satan himself. Paul learns that God's great grace had so much more fulfillment than earthly strength.
In Psalm 62, David says "My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken."
My strength is not from myself or anyone else, but God alone. Resting in Him, I can never be shaken, which leads me to ask:
Am I wrestling my weakness or am I really wrestling my pride which doesn't like the idea of being weak?
Is the mountain really growing or is the distance I feel between myself and the Lord the result of my unwillingness to ask Him to come to me?
Could my valleys rise and my hills be brought low, a straight path to the Lord, if I ask Him? Will the One who descended from heaven, into the depths of hell and conquered sin and death for my sake really abandon me in my time of weakness? (Rom 8:37-39) Will the One who "allowed Himself to be tempted in that which He suffered to come to the aid of those who are tempted" reject me in my frailty? (Heb 2:18)
Is the thorn in my flesh not actually something pressing in on the surface, but the very heart inside of me refusing to die to it's selfish pride and ambition?
I rest on the side of the mountain, but not to stop. Rather, I cry out to the Lord, "Carry me, Father. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Thursday, December 20, 2012
"Happy Holidays" and other major letdowns
"Tis the season to be jolly......"
You would think so. Everything around us tells us that this is the time to be jolly and merry. Clerks in department stores wish us the generic "happy holidays" with each purchase, displaying a fake smile underneath their tired eyes from long hours, frustrated customers and hours of listening to Jingle Bell Rock played over the loudspeaker of the store. While touted as the"time of giving", more and more places try to offer bribes for your business with deals like "Buy a $30 gift card for them and get a $5 gift card for you!". Yes, playing to our selfish nature in the materialistic world we live in is a great method for drumming up more sales.
Besides the great buying frenzy, many find the holidays exhausting physically and emotionally. For the single, the emptiness of relationships seems ever more real as they travel from activity to activity, alone. For the widowed or grieving or empty nester, the holidays can open old wounds and highlight how this year is different, because not everyone who made the holiday season so special is there anymore. For the unemployed and underemployed, the season can remind you of everything you don't have and can't get for your loved ones. For the very wealthy, the holidays are especially anticlimactic, because all the money in the world can't fill that whole that nags at your heart. Or maybe you're the child learning Santa isn't true. Or you are some other religion, feeling assaulted by holiday greetings everywhere you go, for holidays you don't celebrate. Yes, "happy holidays" can be a major letdown for young and old.
And yet, Christmas is the most joyful time of all. Not the materialistic, secular, generality of "holiday wishes", Christmas is the true heralding of comfort and joy. For believers, it is a reminder of God's great love for us and our identity in Him. We are His people, saved through His Son, to be reunited in His glorious kingdom. The examples above are just a small sample of people trying to establish identity in worldly, temporary things like our beauty, riches, family or lovers. Every one of those things leaves a whole inside that no gift card or fancy bow can fill. The hole we have inside is exactly Jesus sized and nothing else will do. Psalm 48 paints a beautiful picture of worshiping God, Lord of all. But not only because He is our Creator and all-powerful and worthy of praise. The psalmist ends with the reason for joyful worship - because He is our God (vs14). And we are His people.
For believers, we are urged in 1 Peter to not conform to our former lusts which were ours in ignorance, but rather to live like the Holy One who called us. (1 Peter 1:14) We don't have to live like everyone else, hurried, exhausted and yet somehow disappointed by it all. Christmas is joyful because we were called out of darkness into light (Isaiah 9:2) and given good news of great joy (Luke 2:10). We are a blessed people because no longer do we have to be enslaved to our former passions and identities that left us broken and empty - we are not controlled by money, sex, power, family, materialism, or any other false sense of security celebrated by "happy holidays". No, we were called to have a "Merry Christmas", rooted in our identity in Him who loves us and called us to make use His own. John's gospel says "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor by the will of man, but of God." (John 1:12-13)
Have you lost someone recently or is your house a little less full this Christmas - take heart, you are part of the body of Christ. You are in His family and you are loved.
Are you alone this Christmas or lonely, even when others are around - be of good cheer, because the Holy Spirit dwells within you and you are never alone.
Is your bank account not looking up to the task of meeting expectations for this season of giving - rejoice, because you have the greatest gift of all and you can share Him with everyone you meet.
It's not that God isn't sympathetic to our sense loss, grief, loneliness or even frustration over material things. He was born in a stable, raised in poverty and died alone on a cross. He knows every frustration this world can bring because He experienced them all. And yet, He does ask us to hold those emotions up to the light of His love. These times are temporary, but we have been loved with and everlasting love and will live with Him eternally in a kingdom paved with gold. No new sweater or even I-phone can compare with that.
Trying to have a happy holiday will only leave you empty. But having a Merry Christmas will give you great cause to rejoice!
You would think so. Everything around us tells us that this is the time to be jolly and merry. Clerks in department stores wish us the generic "happy holidays" with each purchase, displaying a fake smile underneath their tired eyes from long hours, frustrated customers and hours of listening to Jingle Bell Rock played over the loudspeaker of the store. While touted as the"time of giving", more and more places try to offer bribes for your business with deals like "Buy a $30 gift card for them and get a $5 gift card for you!". Yes, playing to our selfish nature in the materialistic world we live in is a great method for drumming up more sales.
Besides the great buying frenzy, many find the holidays exhausting physically and emotionally. For the single, the emptiness of relationships seems ever more real as they travel from activity to activity, alone. For the widowed or grieving or empty nester, the holidays can open old wounds and highlight how this year is different, because not everyone who made the holiday season so special is there anymore. For the unemployed and underemployed, the season can remind you of everything you don't have and can't get for your loved ones. For the very wealthy, the holidays are especially anticlimactic, because all the money in the world can't fill that whole that nags at your heart. Or maybe you're the child learning Santa isn't true. Or you are some other religion, feeling assaulted by holiday greetings everywhere you go, for holidays you don't celebrate. Yes, "happy holidays" can be a major letdown for young and old.
And yet, Christmas is the most joyful time of all. Not the materialistic, secular, generality of "holiday wishes", Christmas is the true heralding of comfort and joy. For believers, it is a reminder of God's great love for us and our identity in Him. We are His people, saved through His Son, to be reunited in His glorious kingdom. The examples above are just a small sample of people trying to establish identity in worldly, temporary things like our beauty, riches, family or lovers. Every one of those things leaves a whole inside that no gift card or fancy bow can fill. The hole we have inside is exactly Jesus sized and nothing else will do. Psalm 48 paints a beautiful picture of worshiping God, Lord of all. But not only because He is our Creator and all-powerful and worthy of praise. The psalmist ends with the reason for joyful worship - because He is our God (vs14). And we are His people.
For believers, we are urged in 1 Peter to not conform to our former lusts which were ours in ignorance, but rather to live like the Holy One who called us. (1 Peter 1:14) We don't have to live like everyone else, hurried, exhausted and yet somehow disappointed by it all. Christmas is joyful because we were called out of darkness into light (Isaiah 9:2) and given good news of great joy (Luke 2:10). We are a blessed people because no longer do we have to be enslaved to our former passions and identities that left us broken and empty - we are not controlled by money, sex, power, family, materialism, or any other false sense of security celebrated by "happy holidays". No, we were called to have a "Merry Christmas", rooted in our identity in Him who loves us and called us to make use His own. John's gospel says "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor by the will of man, but of God." (John 1:12-13)
Have you lost someone recently or is your house a little less full this Christmas - take heart, you are part of the body of Christ. You are in His family and you are loved.
Are you alone this Christmas or lonely, even when others are around - be of good cheer, because the Holy Spirit dwells within you and you are never alone.
Is your bank account not looking up to the task of meeting expectations for this season of giving - rejoice, because you have the greatest gift of all and you can share Him with everyone you meet.
It's not that God isn't sympathetic to our sense loss, grief, loneliness or even frustration over material things. He was born in a stable, raised in poverty and died alone on a cross. He knows every frustration this world can bring because He experienced them all. And yet, He does ask us to hold those emotions up to the light of His love. These times are temporary, but we have been loved with and everlasting love and will live with Him eternally in a kingdom paved with gold. No new sweater or even I-phone can compare with that.
Trying to have a happy holiday will only leave you empty. But having a Merry Christmas will give you great cause to rejoice!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity!
Eminem, who is a secular rapper that I do not recommend, came out with a song in the early 2000's called "Loose Yourself". While vulgar, there is a clean section of the song that says, "So here I go, it's my shot. Feet fail me not, this may be the only opportunity I got. You gotta loose yourself in the moment, you own it, you better never let it go. You only get one shot, do not miss your chance, because opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo."
This idea that we only have one chance for opportunity in life is embraced from the earliest of history. Horace, sometime around 40 BC coined the phrase "Carpe Diem" or "seize the day". This was actually embraced by the early rabbi's as well in the "Pirkei Avot", written by priests for the "oral torah" or the recording of the traditions of the rabbinical teachings from as early as 630 BC. They had a saying "if not now, then when".
In Genesis 16, we see Abram loose himself when he listens to Sarai and takes Hagar as a second wife and a way to have the heir promised by God, 10 years earlier. This act of disobedience to God shows not only a lack of patience but also a strong willed heart, wanting the promise of God without having to wait for His timing. Sarai herself comes up with the idea and scripture says that Abram "listened to the voice of Sarai". The Hebrew translation would more appropriately read "Abram obeyed the voice of Sarai". Interestingly enough, Sarai's name actually translates to "dominant" or "head". In this passage, Abram obeys Sarai's will instead of God's, leading to every key relationship being strained. Sarai becomes angry at both Hagar and Abram after Hagar conceives and we have the sense that Sarai is angry at God, as she accounts her barrenness to His will. And she is right. It was God's will that Sarai be barren until late in life to show His miraculous intervention. No one would ever attribute Isaac to the natural power of Abram and Sarai, but rather God's will and faithfulness to His covenant to make Abram into a great nation.
In the very next chapter Abram's name is changed to Abraham ("father of a multitude") and Sarai is changed to Sarah ("princess") and God reaffirms His will to make an everlasting covenant between Abraham's descendants. This is the start of the nation of Israel and the line of Christ, the Messiah. God had His plan and would bring it to fruition in His time.
Psalm 42:5 says "Why are you in despair , O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, for the help of His presence." When we are impatient, we let our emotions dictate our decision making. Our despair and frustration is often simply a lack of patience. But it can lead to sin. Often times, the penalty for our sin is living with it's consequence. Abraham and Sarah would forever have his relationship with Hagar between them. Ishmael was born into a house of anger and disagreements, knowing that he was an illegitimate child, without rights as an heir (although God promises blessings for Ishmael) and his mother lives the life of a servant, rather than a devoted wife.
James 5 tells us to be patient for the Lord's timing and to strengthen our hearts. The Lord knows we are tempted to rush His plan. He knows that we have a difficult time waiting, especially when our view of reality is so limited compared to God's. Sarai saw the reality of her barrenness and gave Hagar to Abram. But when Hagar conceived, a new reality of pain, anger, resentment, bitterness and frustration set in. God still kept His covenant to be faithful to Abraham, but the conception of Ishmael forever changed their household and their lives. That is why patience is a fruit of God's Spirit in us, and not something we can come up with on our own. Sarai was snapped back to God's reality and saw the gravity of her poor decision, compared to the joy of the birth of Isaac.
But God is so faithful and gracious. He changes Sarai's name from "dominant" to "princess". And that is where all our hearts need to move. We need to move from being dependent on our own selves and trying to handle our lives on our own, to being a princess of God, His daughter, under His care. He has great blessing and joy for us, if we can be patient to receive it. His is the ultimate reality and He has His best already planned for our lives. Hope in God and praise Him again!
This idea that we only have one chance for opportunity in life is embraced from the earliest of history. Horace, sometime around 40 BC coined the phrase "Carpe Diem" or "seize the day". This was actually embraced by the early rabbi's as well in the "Pirkei Avot", written by priests for the "oral torah" or the recording of the traditions of the rabbinical teachings from as early as 630 BC. They had a saying "if not now, then when".
In Genesis 16, we see Abram loose himself when he listens to Sarai and takes Hagar as a second wife and a way to have the heir promised by God, 10 years earlier. This act of disobedience to God shows not only a lack of patience but also a strong willed heart, wanting the promise of God without having to wait for His timing. Sarai herself comes up with the idea and scripture says that Abram "listened to the voice of Sarai". The Hebrew translation would more appropriately read "Abram obeyed the voice of Sarai". Interestingly enough, Sarai's name actually translates to "dominant" or "head". In this passage, Abram obeys Sarai's will instead of God's, leading to every key relationship being strained. Sarai becomes angry at both Hagar and Abram after Hagar conceives and we have the sense that Sarai is angry at God, as she accounts her barrenness to His will. And she is right. It was God's will that Sarai be barren until late in life to show His miraculous intervention. No one would ever attribute Isaac to the natural power of Abram and Sarai, but rather God's will and faithfulness to His covenant to make Abram into a great nation.
In the very next chapter Abram's name is changed to Abraham ("father of a multitude") and Sarai is changed to Sarah ("princess") and God reaffirms His will to make an everlasting covenant between Abraham's descendants. This is the start of the nation of Israel and the line of Christ, the Messiah. God had His plan and would bring it to fruition in His time.
Psalm 42:5 says "Why are you in despair , O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, for the help of His presence." When we are impatient, we let our emotions dictate our decision making. Our despair and frustration is often simply a lack of patience. But it can lead to sin. Often times, the penalty for our sin is living with it's consequence. Abraham and Sarah would forever have his relationship with Hagar between them. Ishmael was born into a house of anger and disagreements, knowing that he was an illegitimate child, without rights as an heir (although God promises blessings for Ishmael) and his mother lives the life of a servant, rather than a devoted wife.
James 5 tells us to be patient for the Lord's timing and to strengthen our hearts. The Lord knows we are tempted to rush His plan. He knows that we have a difficult time waiting, especially when our view of reality is so limited compared to God's. Sarai saw the reality of her barrenness and gave Hagar to Abram. But when Hagar conceived, a new reality of pain, anger, resentment, bitterness and frustration set in. God still kept His covenant to be faithful to Abraham, but the conception of Ishmael forever changed their household and their lives. That is why patience is a fruit of God's Spirit in us, and not something we can come up with on our own. Sarai was snapped back to God's reality and saw the gravity of her poor decision, compared to the joy of the birth of Isaac.
But God is so faithful and gracious. He changes Sarai's name from "dominant" to "princess". And that is where all our hearts need to move. We need to move from being dependent on our own selves and trying to handle our lives on our own, to being a princess of God, His daughter, under His care. He has great blessing and joy for us, if we can be patient to receive it. His is the ultimate reality and He has His best already planned for our lives. Hope in God and praise Him again!
Friday, October 26, 2012
For RuthAnn
Yesterday, at 4:30pm, a beautiful saint of the Lord joined her heavenly Father. My aunt RuthAnn completed her battle with leukemia, which had been going on for over 15 years, and left to her true home in heaven. While in the hospital, during her last days, her greatest desire was to be home and now she eternally is home with Jesus, her first love.
Ruth leaves behind a large number of people mourning her passing, as she brought great light into the lives of those around her and yet we celebrate her reunion with the Lord, whom she faithfully served her whole life. My last several days of bible study have been preparing me for dealing withe the passing of another beloved daughter of Christ, having spent much of my time studying Hebrews 11 and 12, the Psalms and 1 Corinthians 13.
There is a hymn "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" which reads:
Ruth leaves behind a large number of people mourning her passing, as she brought great light into the lives of those around her and yet we celebrate her reunion with the Lord, whom she faithfully served her whole life. My last several days of bible study have been preparing me for dealing withe the passing of another beloved daughter of Christ, having spent much of my time studying Hebrews 11 and 12, the Psalms and 1 Corinthians 13.
There is a hymn "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" which reads:
O soul, are you weary and troubled? No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior, And life more abundant and free!
There’s a light for a look at the Savior, And life more abundant and free!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,In the light of His glory and grace.
Through death into life everlasting He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—For more than conquerors we are!
Over us sin no more hath dominion—For more than conquerors we are!
The words were inspired by Hebrews 12:1-3, where after spending all of chapter 11 reading about great faith in those saints who have gone before us, we are called to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, so we do not grow weary and lose heart. But this song also hearkens to another amazing promise of scripture found in 1 Corinthians 13:12. "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known."
Add this to Psalm 12:5-7 "Because of the devastation of the afflicted, because of the groaning of the needy, now I will arise, says the Lord. The words of the Lord are pure words; as silver tried in a furnace on the earth, refined 7 times. You O Lord will keep them; You will preserve him from this generation forever."
We are all one day closer to our own passing, whether we have a serious illness that calls that reality to the forefront of our minds, or we live each day in denial of the truth that God alone knows the number of days ordained for our life. We will get every day He intends for us to have, but not a minute more. And when this death comes, for those who call Jesus Christ their Savior and Lord, the true life begins. No longer tied to a dying shell, decaying day by day. No longer surrounded inside and out by the sins of a fallen world. No longer looking dimly towards glory, getting small glances of the Lord we worship.
No - the new life, life eternal, is one that we will know God, seeing Him face to face, living in the light of His glory. This life of affliction and the weight of the needy is not outside of God's redeeming grace.
I spent some time reflecting last night on the woman RuthAnn was, during her time here on earth. She was such a picture of the light of God's love living through His faithful servant. Her joy (which was never dampened by the deadly disease swimming through her blood) radiated through her in a way which truly gave her a glowing personality. That expression is often used on vivacious, extroverted people. Yet RuthAnn had a quiet radiance, where you felt heard, loved and accepted. You wanted to be near her, because of the warmth that radiated from her. A warm smile. A genuine laugh and love of life. An attitude of graciousness and thanksgiving for each moment God had given her - seeing her daughter, and granddaughter and great-grandson continue in the faith.
What does a true life of faith look like? It looks like a woman whose reality should have been crushing and despairing - spending years asking why me or complaining about the constant illness and pain. But a life of faith is so centered on Christ, that the shadow of sin and death had no place in her. This life does not come from her own strength. Leukemia weakens the body daily, until there is no longer strength to live. But RuthAnn's strength came from our eternal Savior. He has already conquered sin and death and hell. Her "battle" against cancer was won before it began - because her heart was already held in the hands of the One that had saved her.
That passage in 1 Cor 13:12 which reads "now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just I have been fully known", I believe refers to two types of knowledge. Obviously, we will know Jesus in a whole new way. 1 John 3:2 says "Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not yet appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is." Both of these passages speak to a fascinating truth. Not only will we know the Lord better, as we see Him face to face, but we will know ourselves better too. We will see what we were meant to be.
Psalm 139:16 says "Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them."
God created us, He ordained our days, our purpose and His design was to recreate us in His image - not just as we are here on earth, but remade like Him. We don't know our true potential. We don't know all God made us to be. We live seeing things in hindsight, perpetually amazed by what God has done in and through us. We are all like King David, saying "Who am I God, and what is my house that You have brought me this far?" (2 Sam 7:18) But we can only see ourselves in this life, with the baggage from our past, our daily failures and shortcomings and our worlds surrounded by sin and death. We daily decay. Yet God doesn't see us this way. God sees the beloved son and daughter whom He is calling home, to eternally live in the light of His glory and grace. As we turn our eyes towards Jesus, we leave behind those encumbrances of this life and see glimpses of the potential that comes from living with the Holy Spirit, making us new day by day. Our mortal shell gets closer to death and yet simultaneously an eternal life is ever approaching.
RuthAnn now knows her Jesus in a way she never knew before. And she now sees herself, free from cancer, free from sin, free from death and into life. O glorious day!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Unashamed
Unashamed: not ashamed, being without guilt, self consciousness or doubt (Merriam-Webster, online dictionary)
I've been hanging out in Hebrews 11 for weeks now, because I simply can't leave it. It's been speaking to me in such sweet tones that anytime I even consider plowing through the chapter to move on, I slow down to a crawl and meditate on these familiar words. I read the passage, a section at a time, mouthing each word as I read and writing them down in my journal. There is a compelling picture of faith of our forefathers that won't let go. The hymn "Faith of our Fathers" begins, "Faith of our fathers living still, in spite of dungeon, fire and sword. Oh how our hearts beat high with joy, when e'er we hear that glorious Word!". It's true - our hearts are filled with joy when we read of these stories of faith.
My all-time favorite movie is the Two Towers (love the book as well, of course!) and my favorite scene is toward the end with SamWise Gamgee talking to Frodo about the quest they are one. He says, "I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."
There is something about the story of these heroes of the faith that "died in faith, without receiving the promises" (Heb 11:13a) that keeps us reading. The hymn above echos Hebrews 11:37-38 which reads "They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground." We read these words and we know what they were holding on to - the Lord. Their faith in the Lord kept them firm in spite of all of their trials, "having confessed they were strangers and exiles on the earth" (Heb 11:13c). They viewed themselves as travelers, passing through the world on their way home to a lasting city that God was preparing. And God's response to their faith is beautiful: "Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God" (Heb 11:16b)
God, Creator of heaven and earth, is not ashamed to call us His own. Psalm 149:4 says "For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the afflicted ones with salvation." These destitute, desert-wandering, cave-dwelling outcasts of this world are beautified in salvation through Christ. Isaiah 61:10 says "I will rejoice greatly in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." These who seemed to have the least in this world are wrapped in a robe of righteousness by Christ. He is not ashamed of us. But how often are we ashamed of Him? How often, do we, like Peter, deny our following Him? How often do we stay quiet, politically correct or even take credit for His work in our lives?
Hosea paints a terrible picture of the fall of God's chosen people of Israel, that I think is just as dangerous for today's Christian, especially here in the materialistic culture that glorifies the "self-made-man". Hosea 13:4-6 reads, "Yet I have been the Lord your God since the land of Egypt; and you were not to know any god except Me. For there is no savior besides Me. I cared for you in the wilderness, in the land of drought. As they had their pasture, they became satisfied. And being satisfied, their heart became proud; therefore they forgot Me." If this doesn't terrify you, I don't know what will, because this terrifies me. We live in a nation where comfort is king and living a life that makes you happy is considered success. Missionaries from other nations are coming to America, to witness to this culture that has watered life down to money, stuff and the path of least resistance. Close to 17% of American's don't affiliate themselves with any faith (or agnostic or atheist). A number that is doubled what research found a few years ago. People don't label themselves because the see it as being irrelevant to their lives. They don't have particularly strong feelings about faith or God or religion because is simply doesn't impact them at all. Having the boldness to say out loud, "I am a follower of Christ" is extremely counter cultural, because we live in a culture that says you shouldn't follow anything except your current impulse. You should only do whatever makes you happy in this moment. As a culture we have become satisfied and proud and have forgotten God.
In today's world we are losing the stories of old where people counted themselves as strangers to the world, traveling whatever road Christ called them to, considering themselves the momentary affliction of this world, t pale in comparison to the eternal weight of glory. (2 Cor 4:17) We live in a land of pride, that wants to glorify man, where God calls us to humble ourselves, that He may glorify us at the appointed time. (1 Pet 5:6)
It's the little things, isn't it, that get us day to day. The moments we wonder what someone else will think if we choose to follow God's will or we glorify His name instead of our own. It's the daily process of dying to ourselves, that He might live more in us, that allows us to live unashamed. Without doubt and certainly not self-conscious. Does anyone else feel like everyone in the room gets quiet when you pray before your meal in the lunchroom? Does anyone else fail to mention how God directs our steps, instead of careful or logical decision making? Does anyone else tone down there excitement in secular settings when you feel God moving in your life, but shout it from the rooftops at your church? Does anyone else have two patterns of speech? (Like saying at church "The Lord really blessed me in....", whereas at work you say "I was really lucky when....")
It's the little ways we deny Him that give me pause this morning. In Acts 7, Stephen wasn't martyred until after his sermon. It was his sharing the faith that led to the persecution. If he had just stayed quiet, he might have returned home that evening to his family or friends. But instead, he spoke, full of the Spirit, unashamed. And he returned to his true home, his heavenly home, welcomed by his Heavenly Father. Quietly blending in and passing through this world, as a citizen of this time and this place, may seem like the path of least resistance. But it will not bring glory to God. Singing His praise. Living for His kingdom. Following His will. It may seem strange to the world around us, but then again, we are strangers to this world. We journey homeward, to our Heavenly Father, who welcome us as His own. I want to live a life that captivates an audience - that has them asking "why" and "how" and "can I come too". I want to live a life that glorifies His name. Let me be forgotten - remember instead His work in and through me.
I've been hanging out in Hebrews 11 for weeks now, because I simply can't leave it. It's been speaking to me in such sweet tones that anytime I even consider plowing through the chapter to move on, I slow down to a crawl and meditate on these familiar words. I read the passage, a section at a time, mouthing each word as I read and writing them down in my journal. There is a compelling picture of faith of our forefathers that won't let go. The hymn "Faith of our Fathers" begins, "Faith of our fathers living still, in spite of dungeon, fire and sword. Oh how our hearts beat high with joy, when e'er we hear that glorious Word!". It's true - our hearts are filled with joy when we read of these stories of faith.
My all-time favorite movie is the Two Towers (love the book as well, of course!) and my favorite scene is toward the end with SamWise Gamgee talking to Frodo about the quest they are one. He says, "I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."
There is something about the story of these heroes of the faith that "died in faith, without receiving the promises" (Heb 11:13a) that keeps us reading. The hymn above echos Hebrews 11:37-38 which reads "They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground." We read these words and we know what they were holding on to - the Lord. Their faith in the Lord kept them firm in spite of all of their trials, "having confessed they were strangers and exiles on the earth" (Heb 11:13c). They viewed themselves as travelers, passing through the world on their way home to a lasting city that God was preparing. And God's response to their faith is beautiful: "Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God" (Heb 11:16b)
God, Creator of heaven and earth, is not ashamed to call us His own. Psalm 149:4 says "For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the afflicted ones with salvation." These destitute, desert-wandering, cave-dwelling outcasts of this world are beautified in salvation through Christ. Isaiah 61:10 says "I will rejoice greatly in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." These who seemed to have the least in this world are wrapped in a robe of righteousness by Christ. He is not ashamed of us. But how often are we ashamed of Him? How often, do we, like Peter, deny our following Him? How often do we stay quiet, politically correct or even take credit for His work in our lives?
Hosea paints a terrible picture of the fall of God's chosen people of Israel, that I think is just as dangerous for today's Christian, especially here in the materialistic culture that glorifies the "self-made-man". Hosea 13:4-6 reads, "Yet I have been the Lord your God since the land of Egypt; and you were not to know any god except Me. For there is no savior besides Me. I cared for you in the wilderness, in the land of drought. As they had their pasture, they became satisfied. And being satisfied, their heart became proud; therefore they forgot Me." If this doesn't terrify you, I don't know what will, because this terrifies me. We live in a nation where comfort is king and living a life that makes you happy is considered success. Missionaries from other nations are coming to America, to witness to this culture that has watered life down to money, stuff and the path of least resistance. Close to 17% of American's don't affiliate themselves with any faith (or agnostic or atheist). A number that is doubled what research found a few years ago. People don't label themselves because the see it as being irrelevant to their lives. They don't have particularly strong feelings about faith or God or religion because is simply doesn't impact them at all. Having the boldness to say out loud, "I am a follower of Christ" is extremely counter cultural, because we live in a culture that says you shouldn't follow anything except your current impulse. You should only do whatever makes you happy in this moment. As a culture we have become satisfied and proud and have forgotten God.
In today's world we are losing the stories of old where people counted themselves as strangers to the world, traveling whatever road Christ called them to, considering themselves the momentary affliction of this world, t pale in comparison to the eternal weight of glory. (2 Cor 4:17) We live in a land of pride, that wants to glorify man, where God calls us to humble ourselves, that He may glorify us at the appointed time. (1 Pet 5:6)
It's the little things, isn't it, that get us day to day. The moments we wonder what someone else will think if we choose to follow God's will or we glorify His name instead of our own. It's the daily process of dying to ourselves, that He might live more in us, that allows us to live unashamed. Without doubt and certainly not self-conscious. Does anyone else feel like everyone in the room gets quiet when you pray before your meal in the lunchroom? Does anyone else fail to mention how God directs our steps, instead of careful or logical decision making? Does anyone else tone down there excitement in secular settings when you feel God moving in your life, but shout it from the rooftops at your church? Does anyone else have two patterns of speech? (Like saying at church "The Lord really blessed me in....", whereas at work you say "I was really lucky when....")
It's the little ways we deny Him that give me pause this morning. In Acts 7, Stephen wasn't martyred until after his sermon. It was his sharing the faith that led to the persecution. If he had just stayed quiet, he might have returned home that evening to his family or friends. But instead, he spoke, full of the Spirit, unashamed. And he returned to his true home, his heavenly home, welcomed by his Heavenly Father. Quietly blending in and passing through this world, as a citizen of this time and this place, may seem like the path of least resistance. But it will not bring glory to God. Singing His praise. Living for His kingdom. Following His will. It may seem strange to the world around us, but then again, we are strangers to this world. We journey homeward, to our Heavenly Father, who welcome us as His own. I want to live a life that captivates an audience - that has them asking "why" and "how" and "can I come too". I want to live a life that glorifies His name. Let me be forgotten - remember instead His work in and through me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)